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Inspired in part by my friend Claire W.

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Goals.

Ideally, you set them high, you work hard, you knock them down. As we entered the Taper Phase of Boston Marathon Training a couple weeks ago, a number of bloggers and dailymilers posted their goals for Monday’s race. The goals ranged from finishing in under 2:40:00 to just plain finishing. ALL good goals, and based on what I read, appropriate for the runners in question.

So what are my goals for the 2011 Boston Marathon? Like most marathoners, I have a tiered set of goals:

  • A+ – a 3:10. This would require perfect conditions, both in terms of the weather, how my body felt, how the pack moved. If everything falls into place, this is what I will shoot for. The likelihood of achieving this goal is probably less than 10%, largely because seldom do the stars align just perfectly.
  • A – a sub-3:15. I really do feel like this is within reach, based on how my training has gone and how I have felt during my long runs. If I can hit sub-3:15 I will be over the moon!
  • B – A PR – that would be anything better than the 3:19:19 I posted at Smuttynose. I feel like I’m in better shape than I was in October. Still, I have to keep in mind that Boston is a much harder course than Smutty.
  • C – Beat my New York Marathon Time – I should be able to beat the 3:26 I posted in New York, unless, like New York, I get nauseous and cramp up during the race.
  • D – Finish – ’nuff said.
  • E – I don’t crap my shorts – this may seem like a silly goal, but you just never know what the body will do to you over the course of 26.2 miles. Don’t believe it can happen? Google “runner craps his pants” and take a look at the first image that pops up. I am warning you in advance that the image is NOT for the faint at heart or those easily offended – you’ve been warned.

So, those are my goals. I have to admit, looking at this list, it is somewhat similar to my buddy Claire’s list (sorry Claire!).

What are your goals for your next race?

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Why do you run?

Different

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A year ago this week I wrote a series of blog posts leading up to the 2010 Boston Marathon.  Those posts were about Doubt, Belief, Faith and Hope.  Each one was written to keep me focused on the upcoming marathon with the effect hopefully being that I would BQ at Boston.  Looking back, I realize that it is what I needed at the time to justify my presence.

To a degree, I had no business being there – my bib had practically fallen out of the heavens.  I was neither a charity runner nor a qualifier.  In retrospect, my training had been haphazard at best.  I wanted to believe I was capable of running a 3:20 in that race, but I knew it was unlikely.

In the end, the last 10K of the marathon was able to hold me down long enough to dash my BQ hopes.  I finished with a respectable 3:32 – a 22-minute PR.  I was happy and disappointed.

***

This year is different.

I earned my spot through qualifying back in October.  My training for this cycle has been disciplined.  I have run more miles in the last 4 months than in any other 4 month stretch in my life.  I have no doubt that given good conditions, I will re-qualify (3:20) with room to spare, and may vastly improve my position in the rolling registration process for next year by taking a shot at 3:10.  I have a burning desire to finish strong and fast, but like I said, this year is different.  I don’t have the doubt.  I don’t have the worry.  If the weather doesn’t cooperate and the temperatures shoot up to 80°, I am not going to run in despair.  I will still run hard, but I will also know that I won’t run a 3:10 or a 3:15 or maybe even a 3:20.  But that’s okay.  I know what I am capable of if the conditions are right.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not resting on my laurels of qualifying.  The truth is, if I don’t improve on my time from October, the likelihood is that I will be shut out of the marathon in 2012 because of the new registration process.  My desire, my strong burning desire is to run Boston every year, but I know that if I don’t make it back in 2012, I will in 2013 or 2014 or 2015.

I don’t have to convince myself this year that I belong.  I know I do.

What a difference a year makes.

***

No matter the conditions, I will run hard.  No matter the time, I will take satisfaction in knowing I did so.  In the end, isn’t that all we can ask of and expect of ourselves? 

Did you run hard?

Did you leave it all on the course?

If I can answer yes to both of those questions, no matter what happens, I will be happy.

Best of luck to my fellow 2o11 Boston Marathoners.

May you run hard.

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Why do you run?

Needed

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So on Saturday morning while walking down the stairs, I’m not sure if I took a step funny or what, but I was halted in my tracks by a shooting pain across the middle of my back.  It literally felt like it started on the left and shot across to the right, leaving a streak of enduring pain behind it.

Great! I thought, Just what I need a week before Boston. I thought about my Scared post and laughed. Many of you had warned me that I was either a.) focusing on the negative or b.) tempting fate with humor.  Just to clarify, the post was meant in good humor, though any marathoner will tell you that those thoughts do go through their heads in the week or two before a race.  And so I laughed.  Was this Fate trying to tell me not to toy with or tease her? Was this simply bad luck? Was I going to have to take the last week off completely from running to make sure my back was all right for race day?

It turns out that it was something completely different!

***

On Sunday I had a scheduled 12-miler.  This was to be the last double-digit mile run before the Boston Marathon.  I actually thought about skipping it all together to give my back a break and allow it to mend itself, but I couldn’t resist the urge to get on the course and run those last 6.2 miles of the course that on race day can be a real killer.  Running them would allow my legs to remember what it should feel like on Marathon Monday and hopefully carry me through to a strong finish.

And so I went, back pain and all.

I parked the car a ways from the base of Heartbreak Hill and began to stretch.  My back was not happy.

Maybe this isn’t such a good idea!

But I was determined to at least give it a go.  I was off and soon huffing and puffing up Heartbreak without much of a warm up.  I guess Heartbreak was my warm up.  As I crested the Hill that has ended so many people’s Boston Marathons, I settled into a groove.  It was relatively early, without a whole lot of runners on the course.  Before I knew it, I was at Cleveland Circle, then the CITGO sign, then taking a right on Hereford (where I stuck my hands out and pretended to be an airplane), finally taking a left on Boylston, flying along…

I stopped short of the finish line, just like I had last week.  I was not going to cross it or touch it.

I looked at the finish line and said, I’ll see you next week!, and then I turned around and headed back to my car, 6.2 miles away.

Again, the run flew by and before I knew it, I was done.

Over 12 miles in under 90 minutes, and I felt great.

And guess what? My back pain was gone (and still is!).

So I guess what my back was telling me was that my body needed some miles!  Maybe my body has adjusted to the concept of 50 miles per week and isn’t happy if it doesn’t get it.  I ended last week with my lowest mileage in over 4 month.  32 miles just didn’t/doesn’t feel like enough.

I’ve known for a while that I needed to run to stay sane, what I didn’t realize was that I needed to run to keep aches and pains away.

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Why do you run?

Community

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10 days until the Boston Marathon.

ONLY 10 DAYS!!!

I’m very excited.

I can’t WAIT to get off of the bus at Hopkinton and start running.

Yes, I am very excited.

But there is something else that I am excited about.  Starting next Friday, I am going to get to see many of you – some for the very first time. Whether it’s the “running blog get together” or the “dailymile hootenanny” or simply finding each other at the expo during the day, Marathon Weekend means that instead of being flung all over this country, connected via Twitter, dailymile, Facebook and our respective blogs <—Click There<—, we will have a chance to break bread (gotta carbo-load), drink wine (in moderation) and talk about running (without having the other person’s eyes glaze over).

What a treat!

I look forward to welcoming you to my adopted city.

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Why do you run?

Scared

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So we’re in the final stretch.

I hate this part.

It’s not because of the taper.  It’s not the anticipation.  It’s not even the knowledge that at some point during the Boston Marathon I will doubt myself.

No.

The part I hate most about the home stretch to Hopkinton is that for the next week and a half, I am going to be walking around scared, frightened and jumpy.

Luau!  You have nothing to be scared of!  You’ve got 5 marathons (and 1 Boston) under your belt.  You know what to expect! What’s there to be scared of?

It’s not the race that I’m scared of people.  Marathons are hard; marathons hurt, but man do I love them.

It’s everything else…and I mean EVERYTHING!

Everywhere I look is a potential hazard.

A toy on the floor, picking up the kids, going to the bathroom in the middle of the night – each and every one of these things, along with everything else in the world, is an injury waiting to happen – a slip, a pull, a stub.

That coughing classmate of Katie’s, the sniffling parking attendant at Jess’ work, that feverish looking checkout clerk at the grocery store – they are all out to get me sick right before the start.

Even food, glorious food, is fraught with danger – does it smell a little funny?  is it gonna give me an upset stomach? could there be e.coli in it?

I am a scared little boy right now.

Don’t ask me to get anything off the high shelf.  Don’t ask me to pick up anything heavy.  Don’t breath near me if you even have a hint of a sniffle (I don’t care if you say it’s allergies!). Don’t walk anywhere near my feet.  If you need to talk to me, call me…no, better yet, don’t – I don’t want to stumble as I walk to get the phone.

I would say that I just want to curl up in bed and sleep until the 18th, but I’m afraid of sleeping funny and waking up with a crick in my neck!

Yes, I hate this part.

Be careful fellow Boston Marathoners, you never know where the next injury is coming from.

Excuse me while I go wrap myself in Charmin and bubble wrap.

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Why do you run?

Cracks

Every once in a while I wonder –

what will her life be like?

who will she call friends?

how many of them actually will be?

will she be able to live independently?

who will watch after her?

will her older sister feel burdened?

will she be…happy?

Autism Awareness Month is a double-edged sword.

I am thankful that so many out there, including many of you, are so supportive and even pro-active.  I’ve witnessed the beginnings of a DOAM-Tree; I’ve seen light bulbs go off in peoples heads and on on their porches; I’ve read the President proclaim the official national observance of Autism Awareness Day.

But I’ve also had the harsh reminder that my daughter has autism – more severe than some, not nearly as severe as others; I am constantly reminded that her life will not follow the path of her friends, her cousins or her sister; I’ve watched as she struggles to initiate social interaction and keep up with those that are moving too fast to slow down, even at her own birthday party; I’ve watched as the events of a day simply prove too much, leading to an evening of uncontrollable crying; I’ve impotently stood by, knowing there is nothing I can do other than to just be there with her.

And that is when the cracks come.

I do a pretty good job of holding it together most of the time.  My wife is the cryer – she likes to say she and her side of the family have leaky eyes.  It’s not a negative or positive thing – it is just who they are.  In part because of that though, I have built a wall to keep my tears on the inside.  It would do our family no good if we both ended up in puddles of tears.  I will and do cry, sob, thrash, scream, lash, break down – but it is always inward, never, if rarely on the outside.

Running has helped with that.  Much of the raw emotional energy that comes from the pain of watching my child struggle has been channeled into 4AM runs – I try my best not to run angry, but sometimes I have no choice.

But you can’t run away from pain.  You can’t run away from hurt.  I can’t run away from autism.  I won’t run away from my Brooke.

And so the cracks come, and the eyes begin to leak.

As quickly as they come though, a finger is put in the dam and the leak is stopped…for now.

what will her life be like?

who will she call friends?

how many of them actually will be?

will she be able to live independently?

who will watch after her?

will her older sister feel burdened?

will she be…happy?

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Why do you run?

Crazy

Crazy Marathoner

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Why would you want to do that?  You’re crazy.

That is a common question I get when it comes up in conversation that I run the occasional marathon here and there.  It seems like a absurd question to me, but I also realize that it is an honest one.  Why would I want to run a marathon?  Why put myself through the agony, pain, and doubt?  Why run a distance that has defeated so many?

Why?

3 years ago I would have been asking the same questions.

I recently read that it was one thing to think you could run 26.2 miles, but a completely different thing to KNOW that you could.

Is that why I run the marathon?

Maybe.

But that really only applies to the first time you run a marathon.  At this point I have 5 under my belt, and number 6 is just 2 weeks away.

***

It’s one thing to be a runner.  Running has tremendous health benefits.  But to achieve these benefits, one does NOT have to run a marathon.  In fact, there is some science out there that seems to indicate that marathon running is in fact NOT that good for you.  I can understand that running a marathon a day would have detrimental effects on one’s health.  Even running 4 marathons in a year and 5 in 53 weeks like I did last year can lead to overuse injuries.

So why do I do it?  Why do I want to?

I guess the simple answer is to see if I can.  And after finding out I can, to see if I can do it again, but faster! In the marathon, unless you are an elite runner, you are really only running against one opponent – yourself.

***

But I think there’s more to it.  We are a pack animal by nature.  We either live together or we die alone (bonus points if you can name that quote).  Even for those of us who are loners at heart, we need to know we have a connection to the greater whole.  In this age of technology where we are becoming more and more isolated from each other, noses in our crackberries, eyes glued to screens, many of us are losing our connection to each other.

Ironically, it is the solitary sport of running that can bring masses of people together, whether it be by taking advantage of the screens through social networks like dailymile or out on the road as we pound out the miles.  Personally, I have found that the longer the distance gets, the friendlier the people get.

I don’t say hello to every person I pass when I am walking around town, BUT when I am out running and I cross paths with another runner, there is almost always an acknowledgement of some kind, whether it be a nod, a wave or even a full-blown greeting.  Running does that.  It bonds us.  Whether we are speed demons running sub-6:00 miles or plodding along steadily at 20:00 per mile, we are all runners, connected and bound together by the ground beneath us.

***

So when it comes back to that question – Why would you want to do that? – I guess part of my answer is that I simply like the people.  Whether they are sub-3:00 marathoners or 7:00 hour marathoners, they get it.  They enjoy it.  They love it.

They are a little crazy.

Just like me.

Come join our nuthouse.  There’s always room for more.

And I promise you won’t have to wear what that guy is wearing.

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Why do you run?

Blue

Lighting It Up Blue

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Today is World Autism Awareness Day. Although awareness is not the goal, it is the means to get us there. I would like to thank each and every one of you who lent words of support, left comments on my wife’s letter to the president and went out and lit it up blue last night.

I am sorry to say that we did not succeed in getting the White House to do the same. We did get President Obama to say —>THIS<—, and the White House did contact my wife for —>THIS<—, but we were really hoping for —>THIS<—.

Thank you again for your time and effort. I’m sorry we could not make it happen.

For those that lit it up blue last night, I hope you will consider leaving your lights like that until the end of the month.

The View

No, not that View

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When I first met my wife, one of the things she talked a lot about was long-term gain versus short-term gain.  It was a philosophy of hers that applied not just to the financial aspects of her life but to life in general.

The long and short of it is that most of the time, the value of long-term gains almost always outweigh that of the short-term.  Generally speaking, if you sacrifice the long-term for the short-term, in all likelihood you’ll end up paying for it later, usually negating any gains made in the short-term.

It’s not an easy philosophy to stick to.  In this day and age of immediate gratification, we, as a society seem to have lost our ability to see down the road any further than our next meal, paycheck, trip to the mall.  It’s easy to give into the flash and dazzle of getting it/doing it/buying it/watching it/eating it now, forgetting that a few hours later, that sensation will, at best, be a dull, forgettable feeling, and, at worst, a feeling of regret and, at times, literal pain.  But memory can be short.

The long-view is hard.  Patience is hard.  It can be full of doubt and even despair.

And that is part of the reason why it is so rewarding.

Marathon training has taught me that.

***

After a long day of work or a night with too little sleep, most of us just want a little decompression time.  A little “me” time.  Time to veg, turn our brains off and put ourselves back together.

For many of us, that “me” time is usually spent in front of a screen, our mouths full of scooby-snacks.

I want to redefine what “me” time, or “veg” time is.

***

For me, whether it’s morning, noon or night, when it’s time to run, there is always, ALWAYS an internal struggle:

  • Do I run or go back to bed?
  • Do I run or do I chill out on the couch?
  • Do I run or go to bed at a decent hour?

Sometimes the balance leans toward the run, others it leans towards potatoing.  I’ve reached the point, however, where I know I will be much happier in the long run if I go for the run.  Choosing the bed or the couch may feel good in the here and now, but eventually I get restless, antsy, and sometimes downright grumpy.

Most people view running as an exertion, a time where you spend energy instead of re-charging, and on the surface they are right.  You can’t argue with physics (not in this universe anyway), and the laws of physics clearly state that to move an object you must use energy.  Even if you are able to overcome the inertial gravity of the couch or bed and get yourself in motion, you’re still fighting air resistance and gravity.

It takes work to run.

But sometimes, on a meta-physical level, 1 – 1 ≠ 0; sometimes 1 – 1 = 2. And that’s where running as the new “vegging out” time comes into play.  After a good run, I can be physically spent, but my mind is refreshed and alert.  A good run can wash away the imaginary burdens of the day and help you work through the real ones.  The blood coursing through your body and the endorphins firing off in your brain allows your mind to work on problems in the background while your consciousness only has to work on the simple task of putting one leg in front of the other.

You can get some of the same effects from sleep (and believe me, sleep is an integral part of overall health – a topic for another time), but you certainly cannot get them from potatoing on the couch with a bag full of Cheetos.

At the end of the run you get the added bonus of knowing you improved your health just a little more, buying yourself another day, another week, another month with your family on our little planet.

In the end, is waiting an hour for the satisfaction of a good run that much longer to wait that plopping yourself on the couch?  One of the benefits of marathon running has been a new ability to mentally speed up or slow down an hour depending on the situation.  Besides, the couch will still be there at the end of the day.  If you run first, you’ll smile knowing you got to take advantage of the best of both worlds.

Then you can curl up on the couch and watch a little trashy TV, you know, like the View!

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Why do you run?

Bounce

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Do you feel that?

That almost rhythmic bounce? A rapid, nervous hammering?

Do you feel it?

Do you know what it is?

It baffles scientists every year around this time.  It’s in the air, it’s in the ground, it’s in the pit of our stomachs.

I finally figured out what is causing it.

It’s the up-and-down movement of over 27,000 knees as runners preparing for the Boston Marathon enter their taper*.

***

Despite this being my 6th marathon in 18 months, I can already tell this taper is going to be the hardest yet.  I’ve trained harder and run longer than any other training cycle – I just want Boston to get here.

What do you do to deal with the taper?

*For the uninitiated – the taper is the last 2 – 3 weeks of training for a marathon.  During this time, runners reduce their weekly miles somewhat dramatically, leading to what many call Taper Madness – an overflow of nervous energy where runner don’t know what to do with themselves and often get a little grumpy.

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Why do you run?