Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
#running #notjustrunning #life
Posted in Uncategorized on November 7, 2013| 2 Comments »
I am so ashamed…
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged #SometimesILiveInTheRealWorld, ashamed, clean living, Food, health, inorganic, organic, shaming on November 6, 2013| 1 Comment »
*Inspired in part by some of the unpublished comments I received on my Get Out Of My Village post and tangentially by the hashtag #solidarityisforwhitewomen. If you can help me come up with an appropriate hashtag, I would be grateful.
I am so ashamed…
***
I sometimes eat candy…
I sometimes eat fast food…
I sometimes eat inorganic fruits and veggies…
I sometimes eat meat…
I sometimes eat processed meats & cheeses…
I sometimes drink soda…
I sometimes drink juice from a large company…
I sometimes drink juice that was freshly squeezed from freshly picked fruits that were delivered by a diesel truck…
I sometimes consume HFCS…
I sometimes consume sugar…
I sometimes consume grain…
I sometimes eat organic foods that have been delivered by a truck that consumes gasoline…
I sometimes drive a car that leaves a carbon footprint…
I sometimes travel in a non-solar-powered vehicle…
I sometimes travel in a solar powered vehicle that was manufactured using oil and other non-natural materials…
I sometimes dress in clothes that were made in China…
I sometimes wear clothes that were made in the USA but had to be delivered by truck to the store…
I sometimes have to dispose of garbage…
I sometimes eat at a restaurant that uses electricity that it gets from non-clean sources…
I sometimes turn on a light at home that is connected to the powergrid…
I sometimes read by candlelight from a natural wax candle that was delivered by a vehicle using fossil fuels…
I sometime heat or cool my home because the outside temperature is below 40 degrees or above 90 degrees…
I sometimes go places that are owned by major companies…
I sometimes use the internet with my computer/iPhone that were made in China or Japan…
I sometimes live in the real world…
***
I am so ashamed that I don’t live a vegan life, living on a farm where I eat only food that either I have grown without the use of fertilizers or traded with a neighbor who also didn’t use any fertilizer, wearing only clothes that have been made from materials I can collect within walking distance from my front door, woven together with a loom I made from fallen branches, never traveling by any other method other than my own two feet that are shod in shoes I or my neighbor made from only local products fashioned with tools that I made with rocks, communicating solely through face to face communication or written letters written with a stick and ink I made grinding beets and delivered by foot…
***
There’s nothing wrong with choosing to live a cleaner, healthier life. There’s nothing wrong with encouraging others to do the same. One should, for their own sake…for the sake of their children, strive to live healthier, cleaner, less environmentally impactful lives…
But…
But the glass house is big…I mean, it’s really, really big.
Before letting someone shame you for not living cleanly enough because you have crossed some arbitrary line he or she has chosen, ask yourself if that person has truly given up every, single possible connection to “the dirt”…here’s a hint: if they can read this, they haven’t.
You do what you can with the budget and resources you have available.
Have you ever had someone try to shame or scare you for what you were eating or doing?
#ISometimesLiveInTheRealWorld
The 2013 New York City Marathon – An iPhone’s View
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged 2013, Autism Speaks, Beer, Bones Gate, Brotherhood, Fraternity, iPhone, marathon, New York City Marathon, NYCM, NYCM13, NYCM2013, pacing, Team Up! with Autism Speaks, Yuengling on November 4, 2013| 6 Comments »
Yesterday I paced a buddy of mine to his first NYCM finish – we started strong, got knocked down around 18, but got up and finished strong. Way to go brother!
BRB
Posted in Uncategorized on October 4, 2013| 1 Comment »
I know I owe you a recap of Boston 13.1 (a fantastic day) and there are so many other things I want to write about, but I have to get this CSCS certification done. So that being said, I am going to take a little break from blogging while I focus on studying. I’ll still post on the Facebook page from time to time, but I’ve got to limit my distractions.
Back to the books.
See you soon.
Dear CNT Parents…
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged autism, C.N.T. Parents, Disney, motherhood, parenting on September 26, 2013| 10 Comments »
Dear C.N.T. (Clueless Neuro Typical) Parents,
I hate to admit it, but I agree with you. This Disney thing about the lines and the waiting? Yup, we are on the same page. I agree that the issue is bratty, ill-behaved kids and their lazy parents. I’m with you that it’s about people who feel like they are entitled to go right to the front of the line. I agree that it’s about parents who have no control over their children and take advantage of a system to cut in line in front of everyone who is patiently waiting for their turn to ride It’s A Small World or my personal favorite, the Haunted House. The parents don’t want to do the work necessary to teach their kids the lessons of patience and expected public behavior. The kids are fidgety and noisy and have an absolute lack of self-control. Your kids push and shove. They cut people off, pushing others out of the way and you just smile or shrug your shoulders as if to say, “what are ya gonna do?”
Oh, wait, what? You thought I was talking about parents of Special Needs kids?
Um, no.
This debate about special lines for Special Needs families is actually not all about those families. This debate is about you, the C.N.T. Parent. Why is there a special line for Special Needs families? In part, it’s because of your clueless looks of disdain and horror when our kids flap or squeal in line. It’s because you jump to the conclusion that if our child is flapping their arms or screaming in response to every time your child says, “Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama,” while you ignore your child, my child must be a brat or misbehaving. It’s because your child will walk up to our child and say, “what the hell is wrong with you?” and you do nothing. It’s the complete lack of empathy on your part and your inability to teach it to your own misbehaving, bratty children.
So when a place like Disney makes an effort to ease the discomfort for everyone (you included) by giving us our own line, you decide, “well, I deserve that too.” So you actually go to guest services and game the system. You actually go to guest services and say, “my child has a disability, give me my fucking guest pass.” This, despite that fact that your child is completely typical.
This debate is not about letting Special Needs families “cut” in line. It’s about giving them their own line because C.N.T. Parents like you didn’t want us in your line in the first place.
But it’s also about safety. If my kid flaps to calm down, isn’t safer to let her flap in a line populated by people who understand to give her a little space as opposed to packing her with you and your unempathetic brood?
So, you’re right – these parents have to get off their asses and actually discipline their children and teach them how to behave in society, but those parents are you, the C.N.T. Parent, and those kids are yours.
Come walk in our shoes for a week during the school year and you’ll see what hard parenting work really is.
Thanks for nothing,
Luau
Why?
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged autism, why on September 20, 2013| 6 Comments »
So yesterday was curriculum night at Katie’s school. I’ve gotta tell you, I really like the group of teachers she has this year. They are energetic, dynamic, eager and they seem to genuinely care about their kids. The night was fantastic, except for one little blip.
Those of you who follow Jess may have seen her post this on her Facebook page:
From the very moment the social studies teacher said “three” and “why” I knew the tears were coming. I was sitting behind Jess so I put my hand on her shoulder, hoping that I could help her keep the tears in. It was a tough moment.
But there was something that I had forgotten to share with Jess over the past week; something that really didn’t register until that moment, sitting in the classroom; something that I had inadvertently brushed off three times.
On three separate occasions this past week, Brooke began to relentlessly ask me “why?”
We need to go to speech Brooke.
Why?
Well, because it helps with your communication skills.
Why?
Well, Ms. A helps teach you how to use certain tools so you can tell me and mama what you need or like or want to share.
Why?
Because that is her job.
Why?
Because that’s the field she chose…
Time to take a bath.
Why?
Because you need to get clean.
Why?
Because you’re dirty.
Why?
Because you played out in the sun today.
Why?
Because you’re teachers let you all out for recess.
Why?
So you could get the jigglies out…
…and on and on it went…on three different occasions…from my 10 year old daughter…and it was wonderful!
Memory Loss
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.", autism, blinders, bombing, chemical weapons, citizens of the world, colorful history, dusty pages, George Santayana, history, lip service, military intervention, syria, vaccinations, vaccines on September 12, 2013| 1 Comment »
“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”
~George Santayana
We are all mortal. Eventually each and every one of us will die. The only way our thoughts and beliefs will carry on once we are gone is through recorded history, whether that be in the form of the written word, photographs, digital media or even our most ancient of methods, word of mouth. Although the world is constantly changing, seemingly hurtling headlong toward the future in faster and faster bursts, it would behoove us to look back and truly study our past. It seems that in this day and age, when access to humankind’s rich and colorful history is the most accessible it has ever been, available to all with access to a computer and the internet, that more and more the citizens of the world give only lip service to those who came before us.
We have been charmed by soundbites, headlines and narratives fashioned by others, by those who should know better, who should act better, who should be better. They focus on the now without truly understanding that “now” only exist because of “then”; that without “then” there would be no “now”. But their biggest folly in ignoring the dusty pages of history is that mankind is essentially stumbling into the future with blinders on. Though no one can truly “see” the future, studying the past can at least reveal some of the pitfalls that lie ahead and help us avoid repeating the same mistakes.
The focus in the news for the past week or so has been whether or not we should bomb Syria in response to their use of chemical weapons. It would seem that our President has stumbled through this “crisis”. Polls show that the majority of the US is against any kind of military intervention – it’s not our business – stay our of Syria – we don’t want to get into another quagmire. I don’t know what the right answer is, but I do wonder this – do any of the people who are so adamantly opposed to punishing Syria for its use of chemical weapons have any idea of just how horrific chemical weapons like mustard gas are? People of my generation do not remember the horrors of soldier suffocating in the trenches; the unpredictability of a gas let loose to the wind, sometimes bringing the gas right back to the armies that had deployed it or into towns and villages in the surrounding area.
It is possible that President Obama was bailed out of this mess by an off the cuff remark by Secretary of State Kerry and an opportunistic move by Russian President Vladamir Putin. Opponents of President Obama are howling that he has been shown up by Putin and now Russia, that paragon of diplomacy, has won and the USA has lost. To paraphrase Jon Stewart from the Daily Show, who cares? As long as those chemical weapons are being taken off the shelves and locked up for good, we ALL win. Up until this point, no one else was willing to take a stand on the use of chemical weapons. All war is horrific, but it was decided long ago that the use of chemical weapons were beyond the framework of the battlefield, were much too unpredictable, much too uncontrollable.
On the surface it might seem an odd segue to bring up the topic of vaccines, but this is the very topic that came to mind while I was watching the news coverage of the opposition to bombing Syria. So many have begun to eschew vaccinations for fear their child might get autism or some other neurological disorder – the knee jerk reaction to a study based on bad science continually spread by bubble headed celebrities. It has left us, all of us, more vulnerable to the horrors of disease. People of my generation and younger do not remember little Johnny or Janey disappearing in the middle of the school year, sometimes returning with a disfigured leg; sometimes never returning at all – victim to the crippling, often lethal effects of polio. People of my generation and younger do not remember the near 30% fatality rate of measles or the sometimes resulting infertility from mumps. We don’t see these horrors anymore because science found a way to protect us from these diseases. Many of those horrors have been relegated to the pages of history. We have rid the world of smallpox. We are close to eradicating polio.
They are history.
There is a reason why those who come before us feel compelled to record their time in history.
A parent will inevitably tell his/her teenage child, “trust me, I’ve been there, done that and you don’t want to repeat the mistakes I made.” What will the teenager do? Exactly what the parent doesn’t want them to do. It is the natural order of things; the circle of life – but mankind is not a teenager; governments and communities are not teenagers – they are run by adults who should know better, who should act better, who should be better.
George Santayana’s quote is worth repeating – Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
Mad at Myself
Posted in Uncategorized on August 25, 2013| 12 Comments »
I caught myself this morning wishing the most horrible thing – I wish our family was normal. What an awful, awful thing to think. We were sitting at breakfast at one of our favorite restaurants on our first full day of vacation.
The night had been a bit of a bust with Brooke refusing to sleep in her room with her sister. I woke up at midnight to find Brooke and Jess passed out on the couch. I moved them both to the main bed and crawled into Brooke’s bed where I lay awake for the next three hours.
Score one for sleep issues and epilepsy.
On the way to breakfast Brooke was in high anxiety alert, slipping quickly and “easily” from laughing to yelping and back again. Walking through town I couldn’t help noticing all of the “normal” families, their kids behaving or misbehaving in neuro-typical fashion.
Across the street from the restaurant, Brooke knelt down to pick a flower that was defiantly growing where the sidewalk meets the street. Jess warned her that she needed to back up because there was traffic and it was dangerous. Brooke yelped and then yelled.
I took a deep breath.
As we sat waiting for a table, Brooke began to lose the ability to cope with her environment. Jess asked for the iPad as a distraction, unaware that Katie was using it. Handing it over, Katie could not stop her pre-teen tween mind from sulking a bit.
Wasn’t this supposed to be a vacation?
I watched a family of six get seated. The kids were a bundle of voices, oscillating in volume, intensity and intent. There would be little screams from the littlest one (a baby), arguing from the older ones (maybe 9 to 11?), but it all seemed so “normal”.
And that’s when it happened. I caught myself wishing that my family could, at least for a week, even a day, be “normal”; and I hated myself for thinking that. Why couldn’t the debilitating anxiety Brooke suffers just go away for a little while? Why couldn’t she just be happy to share a room with her sister and have a “sleepover”? Why couldn’t Katie’s tween-angst be just that and not have to be peppered with having a sister she feels she can’t communicate with or even worse, who she at times resents?
As mad as I was at autism and epilepsy and tweenagedom, I was even angrier at myself for wishing “normal”.
Sitting at our table, Jess asked me what was wrong. My face had betrayed me. I waved her off. It’s nothing, I said. She didn’t believe me.
As soon as the food arrived my stomach took over, but I couldn’t stop myself from occasionally looking around, a feeling of envy creeping ever so slightly.
Breakfast done, the girls and Jess went for a walk, leaving me to pay the bill. I took a deep breath and sipped my coffee. A moment of calm amid the cacophony of a busy island restaurant. I almost began to cry.
***
That would have been the end of this sad post, but about 10 minutes later, I caught up to the girls. As we walked toward a toy store Brooke wanted to check out, Jess leaned over to me and said, “that was a little odd.”
I had no idea what she was talking about, but just as she was about to explain, a woman came up behind us, gushing to Jess, “I just want you to know that I read your page and I get so much out of your blog; I’m a teacher and your writing has been so helpful!”
And for a brief moment I thoughts maybe there is a reason for all of this.

















