It’s been a rough, tough couple of weeks here. For those that don’t follow me or Jess on Facebook or Twitter, we received news earlier this week that Brooke has in fact been suffering from brain seizures. Jess and I were, despite preparing ourselves for the possibility, completely rocked. The news from the neurologist was followed up just hours later with more difficult news from Brooke’s neuropsych (or as Jess calls him – Dr. Dreamy). Her verbal IQ had taken a frightening tumble over the last year, dropping her into the bottom one percentile of her peers.
Yeah…Jess and I walked out of there a complete mess.
That was Wednesday night. Thursday went by in a complete blur. Jess stayed home to prepare for Brooke’s team meeting at school, while I drove her around to attend to those preparations. I just wanted to get to the end of the day and go to sleep.
Sleep didn’t help.
I woke up this morning just as distraught, just as angry, just as stressed. So many of you have sent words of love and support and offers of connections to doctors. Up until today, that had been my lifeline – I can’t thank you enough. I know there are people out there who say that social media has made the world a colder, less inter-personal place, but after what you did for me and Jess Wednesday night and yesterday, I could not disagree more. Like I said, you have been my lifeline.
But then something else happened today. Instead of running angry as I have for the last several days, I decided to run comfortably; to purposely run at a slower, steadier pace. I kept my pulse in the high 120’s and just glided for 5 miles before turning up the pace a little. It was meditative, contemplative, reflective.
At the end of the run I took my usual “#AutismStreaeks Day Fill-In-Blank” photo. The sun was behind me, which I hadn’t realized, and created a burst across my face in the photo and it struck me – even the darkest of nights must eventually give way to the sunlight.
…even the darkest night must eventually give way to the sun…
#AustismStreaks Day 46
Brooke will get through this, as will Jess, Katie and I.
Thank you for being our sunlight.
Run Luau Run 
And again, running gives us the slimmest, most tenuous, but never-letting-us-down of lifelines. There’s nothing I can say or do to help with the clinical stuff but I’m one of the legions out here sending support and love. In spades.
Beautiful. So true. Not always easy to realize while still in the storm, but the rays of light are always there trying to push through the clouds.
You will, you will, you will 100% get through this, and hopefully on the other side of it is a child who benefits from having seizure control. It could really open a whole new world for her, and I truly hope it will! It would of course be better for her to not have the seizures, but with the terffic care I am sure she will get, from you and her doctors, hopefully brighter days are ahead 🙂
Welcome to Jude’s way of running. 🙂 Love you guys so much. Praying you get through this rough patch.
Perfect metaphor. You all continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
Wonderful post……congrats on finding the sunshine….our kids always seem to find a way to! Keeping your whole family in my thoughts and prayers and sending positivity your way!
Got your back, buddy.
Please know that you sweet girl and your entire family continue to be in our prayers.
Been thinking about you guys as we are in our own tailspin. Sending hugs. Would happily also send cupcakes.
This is lovely.
Amen! You will get through this… We are all with you on this journey… Prayers!
Sunlight and movement… I’m glad they brought you some peace. Thinking of you all so much.
Thinking about you guys.
First and foremost, my thoughts and prayers are with Brooke, you, and your family. Unfortunately, I know the kind of hurt you are feeling. I’m sorry I don’t have anything clever or inspirational to say that could lessen that hurt. Running is a great distraction and outlet Take care–Mark Crehan, one time half-marathoner
Reblogged this on Matt Goes Long and commented:
This is a truly inspirational read, it always amazes me the different ways in which people cope, but they do.
[…] been difficult and I wrote last week how many of YOU have been our Sunlight during this confusing time. Part of my personal therapy has been to run – this streak could […]