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“Click”

[tweetmeme source=”luau” only_single=false http://www.URL.com]

Inspired by a tweet from my friend @BklynRunner

 

“Click”

It’s a very satisfying sound.  Your seat belt, the front door, the battery cover of your remote control, your mouse.  There are dozens of things in our lives that we can derive small amounts of pleasure from when they simply go “click”.  But it is the more abstract “clicks” that can lead to happiness and general good feelings – a relationship, a blog post, a project at work.  When those things “click”, man does life feel good!!!

Of course, some things will click and some things won’t.  When they don’t, it hurts.  Not necessarily the “I’m gonna jump off a bridge” kind of hurt, but it still hurts.  You look back and wonder, what could I have done to make that relationship work or make that blog post resonate or make the boss really like the end product?

The same thing happens in running.  Some runs are awesome.  When a run “clicks”, you get your full dose of endorphins, you feet don’t touch the ground and you feel like you could run forever.  When the inverse happens, you wonder what the hell you’re doing. Why am I running? Your feet feel like bricks, your breathing is labored and every mile feels like ten.

Here’s what I have learned from running though – just because a run doesn’t click today, doesn’t mean it won’t click big time tomorrow.  In fact, it is rare that I ever have two bad runs in a row (and let’s be honest here, a bad run is a lot better than no run at all!).

This past Sunday I was lucky enough to enjoy a run that really clicked. I had an 18-miler on the schedule, 14 of which were supposed to be at marathon pace.  Although my best marathon is a 3:19 (equaling a 7:37ish pace), I have been training with the assumption that I have the ability to run a 3:15 – that would translate into about a 7:25/mile pace. I ended up running the entire 18 miles at a 7:05 clip, with the middle 14 coming in at under 7 minutes per mile.  I felt like I was flying.  This came on the heels of what one could call a less than stellar run the previous day.

There will be more bad runs – it happens – but I know I can draw on this one from Sunday when the going gets tough.

And when things get tough in the real world, outside of running, I will know that by pushing through the tough things, I will get to the good ones.

If things were good all of the time, we wouldn’t appreciate them for what they are.

I hope things click for you today.

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Push

[tweetmeme source=”luau” only_single=false http://www.URL.com]

The alarm goes off.  I blink my eyes a couple of times.

4AM already?

I blindly reach in the dark for my phone to turn off the snoring sound (yes, my alarm is a snoring sound).  I move my stiff legs and body off of the bed and to the bathroom where I find my shorts and socks waiting for me.  I stare at them.

Do I really want to run this morning?  8 miles? Really?

I ignore my brain and change. I head downstairs for some oatmeal, a banana and some coffee – my legs are still sore and tight from Sunday’s hard, fast 18-miler.

This is gonna hurt.

I slowly down the pre-workout meal, delaying the inevitable.  Part of me wants to go back to bed; part of me knows Boston is less than 5 weeks away.  The schedule calls for 8 miles with 5 intervals of 600 meters at 5K race pace.  I don’t have it in me to run outside this morning so I trudge down to the treadmill, trying to get my brain to convert the numbers into something I can use.

600 meters…400 meters is about a quarter mile…0.25…add half of that…0.375…how the hell am I supposed to use that?

I settle on running 0.40 mile intervals at the treadmill’s top speed (10mph) with a 0.20 mile recovery in between.

This is gonna hurt.

I pop the TV on and stretch a little, not really wanting to do this.  At that moment, all I want to do is crawl back into bed and sleep for another 3 hours.  I look at the clock – 4:35 – it’s time to go.

Pain.  Not the sharp, oh crap I’ve injured myself kind of pain.  Just pain.

Just under 57 minutes later I am done.  Sweat is dripping off my body like I’m a hose with holes in it.  I am spent.

But the endorphins kick in and I can’t remember that feeling I had before the run.  I don’t remember NOT wanting to run.

All I know is DAMN! This feels good!!!

This definitely feels good.

Hope you got your feel good on today.

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Fire

[tweetmeme source=”luau” only_single=false http://www.URL.com]

I love running.

I believe in running.

I preach running.

You know this.  Anybody who spends more than 15 minutes with me knows this.

If there is a problem, running either IS or can lead you to the solution.

I definitely have a passion for running, a burning fire.

It is…consuming.

So I get a little frustrated when people don’t get it.  It’s hard to me to understand how people do not understand that running (and when I say running I mean any sweat-producing exercise) can make them feel better, be better.  I get even more frustrated when people get it, but don’t do anything about it. 

How can you not be taking care of yourself?  How can you do this to yourself?

Like I said, I get frustrated.

But then I remember – I didn’t start running until I was almost 39.  It was just over two years ago that I started running regularly.

And I knew long before!  I knew the benefits of regular exercise and what it could do for me.  But I didn’t.

I didn’t.

And that is what I tell myself when I see friends and family placing health low on their priority lists.

The fire will come. Hopefully.  Or maybe it won’t.

I hope it does.

I do.

I can stoke it for you temporarily, but in the end, the fuel must come from within.  The fire has to burn from within.

Burn.

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Being the parent of a child with autism has taught me that success breeds success.

One of the therapies many children like Brooke receive is called ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis). In the simplest layman’s terms, an instructor teaches a child how to do a task by breaking the task down to its most rudimentary components. What you and I take for granted as one, single task, is often a lot more complicated than you think. Even simple games like memory or putting toothpaste on a toothbrush have to be taught step by step, each step building on the previous one. The key is providing a child like Brooke an opportunity to succeed with each step before moving on to the next one. When done properly, children like Brooke can succeed, even thrive, in their environment. The downside is that if done improperly or without caution, a child like Brooke can fail miserably at the task and refuse to go forward or learn the wrong way to do the task, leading to further frustration down the line. Once something is learned for these very rule-based children, it is extremely difficult to un-learn it.

The same can be said about running.

Confidence and belief start small. At birth, just like us, they come in many different forms (loud, quiet), but early on, they are fragile, easily shattered. That confidence, that belief, has to be cultivated, nurtured, cared for.

I have seen many people declare that they are going to start running – it will be part of their new exercise regimen, and this time dammit they’re gonna stick to it.

Three weeks later they haven’t run in a week and a half. The excuses will be there (-oh, I’ve been crazy busy. -oh, I just haven’t been feeling well. -oh, I haven’t been getting enough sleep lately) and I will do my best not to roll my eyes.

Now you may think that I’m being a little harsh with the eye-rolling. Let’s get this straight right now before the comments start flying – I am NOT rolling my eyes at the person. I am rolling my eyes at the way the person went about this new regimen. I am rolling my eyes because I went through the exact same thing – I did not respect running.

I was an on again, off again runner for a long time. My “on’s” would last about a week. My “off’s” would last about a year. Every time I would start again, I would do the exact same thing as the time before. I would put on an old pair of sneakers, I would run 4 or 5 miles and then I would be in pain. The learned experience (the bad form, the lack of pacing) from the first time I went running as an adult (if you could call me that at 22) stuck with me, not as a learning experience, but as one that got repeated over an over again.

I thought I could just go out there and run. It’s just running, right? And to a degree that is true. However, if you aren’t athletically gifted (which despite what the wife says, I am not), your body can do some really weird things the first couple of times you go out there. Fortunately for me, out of complete dumb luck, this last time around I accidentally did things the right way. I started with low mileage (2-3 miles per run, 3 times per week) and built up from there. True, I probably built up too quickly over the course of the following few weeks, but the point is, I started slowly and let my body experience “success” at running before moving up to the next level.

Now some people may feel uncomfortable with this “babying” of oneself to breed success, but I draw a line of distinction from the “everybody wins-nobody loses” philosophy in that running is not primarily about competition. Yes, I run races. YES, I get competitive with those of equal ability. But running to me is about feeling good. It’s about that rush of blood coursing through my body, my focused energy, or chi as those who follow Chinese martial arts will know it. It’s about the endorphins carrying me through the day with a smile on my face. These are the fruits one harvests by taking care of the seed when one starts running.

That’s the thing though – you have to take care of the seed early. Pay attention and listen to your body. The best thing I did early on in my latest attempt at running was pay attention to my form. I am still a work-in-progress. My form is far from perfect. I still strike with my heel. I still bounce up and down when I run. However, I do both to a much lesser degree than I once did. As my form gets better and more efficient, the nagging aches and pains diminish. I haven’t had a serious injury in quite a while.

I find that I am enjoying my runs more and more, despite the fact that they are getting longer , harder and faster. Just when my body should be feeling like it’s taking a beating, it feels great…

…all because, I took care of the seed.

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[tweetmeme source=”luau” only_single=false http://www.URL.com]

There is a down side to regular running.  A dark side that people will try to paint over with white-wash and tell you it’s great.  If you are considering the prospect of taking up running, I urge you to think about these things before you start.

•Your clothes will no longer fit you – the added cost of having to buy a new wardrobe, in addition to the new running gear you just bought a few months earlier, can weigh heavily on your wallet.

•Your sex-drive will increase dramatically – I didn’t think that was possible in my case, but it in fact did.  The endorphins coursing through your body will keep your blood pumping long after your run is done.  It can be rather distracting, you know?

•Your appetite will increase – with the added expenditure of calories will also come the added expenditure of dollars replacing many of those calories.  You gotta eat, right?

•Related to your appetite, you will have to overhaul the contents of your cupboard and refrigerator – once you start fine-tuning the machine that is your body, you will become more aware of the fuel you are putting into it.  Regular leaded will no longer do.  A high performance engine craves the Super Unleaded.

•You will be happier – which sounds great on the surface, but it will annoy your friends to no end.  They’ll ask you what are you so damned happy about (even though deep down they will know why).

•You won’t get sick as often – again, sounds great at first, but think about it; if you don’t get sick, you don’t get to call in sick and take a day off from work.  That’s less time you get to lie in bed and watch crappy day-time television.

•You’ll make new friend – sounds good, but you know, I have a hard enough time keeping track of my high school and college buddies.  Do I really need another whole group of friends to max out my address book?

The bottom line is, be careful what you wish for.  This whole running thing may look good from the outside looking in, but once you’re in it, you realize that being in better shape, having a higher sex drive, being able to eat more and better food, being happier, rarely getting sick and making a bunch of new friends ain’t all what it’s cracked up to be!

You’ve been warned!

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[tweetmeme source=”luau” only_single=false http://www.URL.com]

I sat in my car, staring down the road in front of me.   It was 6AM, the snow had been coming down for hours.  The ground was covered in an inch or two of wet, wet snow.

Do I really want to do this?

I was staring down the starting end of a 20-mile run.  20 miles.  20 miles is a tough run under great conditions, much less snowy ones that were quickly turning worse.

Maybe the treadmill would have been a better idea.

The thing was, the treadmill wasn’t an option.  I had made arrangements to meet my buddy Doug at mile 13 at 8AM. We were running a portion of the Boston Marathon course.

Why did I do that!?!?

My last 7 miles were going to be the first 7 miles of his own 16 mile run.

The minutes ticked by.  6:10 snuck up on me.

Sigh…

It was time to go.  My plan was to run slowly.  The weather and the road condition, snowy with the added bonus of slush, were not conducive for a quick paced trek.  Traction was not high.  I started in the high 8’s/low 9’s.  At just about the mile marker, I stepped off a curb into about 3 or 4 inches of slush.

Great!!!

Water rushed into my shoe.  I love my Kinvaras because they are so well ventilated.  Great for hot, summer days; not so great for slushy conditions.  I laughed.  What else could I do?  I trudged on, trying to keep my feet under me.  As I hit my first hill, I could feel my feet slipping beneath me.  Each stride was not only a battle of getting up the hill, but of making sure that I didn’t lose my feet and land on my face.  Each step required renewed focus, moving from one foot to the other.  I drew a deep sigh of relief as I crested the hill, only to realize that I would now be battling the slippage in a completely different way.

This is going to be miserable!!!

And so it went through this hilly section of the Boston Marathon course.  Finally, I made the turn off of the hills and headed for the next town.  As I tried to let my mind relax a little, a large truck drove by just a little too fast, a little too close for comfort.  If that wasn’t scary enough, he went through a large puddle of slush just as he passed me.  This sent sent a mini-tsunami of slush and ice splashing against my bare legs.

I’m awake!!! Holy Crap I’m AWAKE!!!

Holy cow that was cold!  I gathered myself together.  As I continued on through the growing layer of snow, I wondered why I had only worn little footie socks.  Snow was beginning to accumulate on my bare ankles.

What the hell am I doing?

Just after entering the town of Wellesley, I was greeted by a hill that seemed to go on forever (though I think it only goes for about 2/3 of a mile). Ever-slickening conditions made the climb rather interesting. As I crested the hill I looked at my watch.  I was now running low 8’s.

Too fast.

I tried to slow down, but the legs kept churning.  Low 8’s turned into high 7’s.  As I passed the 7 mile marker (where I was meeting Doug), I realized that I was about 5 minutes ahead of schedule.  Despite telling myself that I needed to slow down, my legs were finally starting to feel strong. Passing Wellesley College, I was brought back to the Marathon last April and all of the screaming college girls offering kisses to the runners (no, I didn’t stop for any!).  I checked my watch as I hit the next mile.  7:30!

7:30? Slow down, Dude!!!

No avail.  Over the next five miles, as I made my way to Natick Centre and back, despite making a conscious effort to keep it under control, and being hyper-vigilant of both ice and traffic, I averaged just under 7:30/mile.  I arrived at our meet up point 10 minutes ahead of schedule. 13 miles in 1:42.  Not bad for such craptastic conditions!

Soon Doug arrived and we were on our merry way.  Conditions were worsening, but it was great to have the company.  As we made our way through Wellesley and back to the Newton Hills portion of the Boston Marathon Course, we chatted away.  He reminded me about the heartbreaking story of why he ran Boston last year and why he is again running for the same charity.  The story is —>HERE<—. We talked shoes, we talked running.

The falling snow was turning into sleet.

Lovely!

The intersections were ankle deep in slush now.  Even if we were able to avoid the puddles (which I wasn’t), we were continually assaulted by the splashing of passing cars.

Finally on the Newton Hills, we were able avoid the flying slush, but of course, now we faced “the Newton Hills”.  I was about 17 miles in at this point (which coincidentally is where they lie on the course), and the legs were heavy.  We pushed our way through, yapping away the entire time.

Before I knew it, I saw my car in the distance.  Arriving at mile 20, I gave Doug a quick hug and sent him on his way to finish his run.

Man! What a miserable frakkin’ day!

I hopped into my car and headed home, downing a couple of mix1’s to speed recovery.

I. Was. Exhausted.

When I got home, I trudged upstairs to kiss the wife and the kids.  We chatted for a minute and then I went upstairs to shower.  I was beat.

What a miserable, miserable outing.

Or was it?

A little later, I saw this on my wife’s Facebook page status:

my husband just ran 20 miles. in the snow. and is all sorts of cheerful. please tell me it’s ok to hate him. just a little.

The thing is, she was right.  I was totally cheerful.  I was beat. Yes.  I was exhausted. Definitely. But I also felt great!  Despite the conditions and the traffic (maybe because of the conditions and the traffic), I had a great time out there.  Would I want to run that every week? Well, no.  BUT, I gotta say, in retrospect, I had a great time.

Thanks Doug for keeping me company for the last 7 miles!

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[tweetmeme source=”luau” only_single=false http://www.URL.com]

After nearly 2 years, I have finally reached a balance when it comes to my funny little running shoes. As many of you know, I have been a proponent of the Vibram Five Finger shoe for almost a year and a half now. Part of my inspiration came from reading Born To Run by Christopher McDougall, part of it came from my good friend Mike (famous for his battle with the Cat in the Hat last April). The thing is, you may have noticed that I haven’t been talking about them quite as much lately. I haven’t been pushing them, proselytizing about them.

I realized recently that I went into this minimalist shoe thing, the VFF’s in particular, all wrong. I did everything one was NOT supposed to do, and I paid for it with pain, injury and worst of all, time away from running. If transitioned to properly, I believe that the Vibrams are one of the best things you can do for yourself, your feet and your running, on many different levels.

Let’s start with why they are good:

  1. They will push you to run with proper form – the thing about running barefoot is that you can’t be a heavy-duty heel striker. Even if that is what you have become, you are forced by the lack of heel protection to change your posture. If you try to continue to run with a heel-strike while barefoot, you’ll only end up hurting yourself…badly.
  2. If used properly, you will avoid injuries to your knees and hips – because you are forced into better posture, your knees and hips don’t take the extreme pounding they would normally take while running with a heel-strike
  3. You will run faster – because you are not hitting the breaks with your heels at every footfall, your momentum doesn’t get interrupted and you are able to maintain a higher speed.
  4. You will run longer – because of the maintained momentum, you expend less energy with each step, each yard, each mile, leaving you more energy to run farther.

Sounds pretty good. Sounds like a miracle shoe. Let’s go out and get a pair and start piling on the miles!

***

***

Yeah, you know what? That’s exactly what I did. I read Born to Run and I talked to my buddy Mike and I was sold, convinced, converted. I was ready to dedicate my feet to Barefoot Ted and Vibrams. So I went out and bought a pair of the VFF Sprints, took them home, hopped on the treadmill and ran 3 miles.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

That was the sound of my feet on my treadmill as I ran my first VFF run. It was so loud! But you know what? It felt great…for about half a mile. Then my shins started to hurt a little. The burning pain grew, but I was determined to keep going.

These were Vibram Five Fingers!

They were barefoot shoes!

Evolution had programmed and designed me to run like this.

The pain would go away, right?

RIGHT?

But no, the pain didn’t go away. In fact, it got worse. By the time I hit 2 miles my shins were throbbing and my calves were starting to bark.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I finally hit 3 miles.

MY GOD THAT WAS PAINFUL!!!

But the pain was nothing compared to what I felt the next morning.

You know that feeling you get the morning after a hard fought marathon? The kind of feeling that forces you to walk down stairs backwards? Yeah, well 3 miles in the Vibrams on the treadmill had pretty much done the same thing to me. For the next three or four days I hobbled, if you could even call it that. Walking was painful.

In all seriousness, I was ready to toss the shoes and call them an $80 mistake. I called my buddy Mike to bitch about them, but before I could say anything he asked how far I had run in them.

“3 miles,” I said.

There was a moment of silence on the other side of the line and then some mild laughter. He knew. He knew that I must have been in incredible pain.

“Dude! You shouldn’t have done more than a half a mile the first time in those things! You could really hurt yourself like that!”

“Well, you could’ve told me,” I said. He laughed and we moved on to other topics, but at that point I realized that I needed to give the Vibrams another chance. This time I would take it slowly and build up my mileage a little at a time.

And that’s what I did. Over the course of the next month or so, I built up my mileage until I was able to do 8 mile runs regularly in them.

This is where my next big mistake came. I loved these shoes so much, that I eliminated my other running shoes completely. I loved them and talked about them so much that my wife had this made for my birthday:

 

Yes, that is a Vibram Five Finger KSO Cake

The problem with that is when you wear the same shoe all of the time, you run a higher risk of repetitive motion injuries, and when you’ve spent a lifetime running in regular shoes, certain muscles and tendons have atrophied to the point where they are weak and brittle. I got away with it for a few months. I had developed a pretty decent stride, but my form still had a tendency to break down a little late in longer runs. I was able to fend off injury to my achilles’ tendon through stretching, but in the meantime, I didn’t realize what I was doing to the tendons on the top of my feet. About 5 weeks before I was to run my first marathon, I went out for a run and I got a sharp pain on the top of my right foot. This was not a “let me see if I can run through it” type of a pain. No, this was, “HOLY CRAP I HAVE GOT TO STOP RIGHT NOW!!!” kind of a pain. Being the intelligent person that I am I decided to try another 10 yards and nearly collapsed to the ground on the second stride.

Something was dreadfully wrong.

After much testing and worrying, I was relieved to know I had not broken anything. I had a severe case of tendinitis however and the doctor ordered me to lay off the running for six weeks.

Hmmm…6 week, eh, Doc? I don’t think I can do that.

Why not, Luau?

Well, you see, I’ve got this marathon coming up in 5 weeks.

No, no you don’t have a marathon coming in 5 weeks. You aren’t going to run. Why would you want to run a marathon anyway?

I sighed after that comment, knowing that I wasn’t going to get anywhere with her. She realized that I was going to run one way or the other.

Ok, she said, I think you’re crazy for doing it in the first place, but if you are going to run it, you need to take the next 3-4 weeks off and then take it easy leading up to the marathon. The moment you feel pain in the race, you stop!

The moment I feel pain? I thought The marathon is about ignoring pain!

I nodded my head and said I would.

The truth is though, I did need to take time off. I could barely walk on my foot, much less run on it. Even swimming, which I did during those 4 weeks, was initially painful to do because of the tendinitis. All of this pain, because I jumped headlong, eyes closed into the minimalist shoe movement without taking into consideration that maybe my legs and feet needed some time to adjust.

So what’s my point? When I started wearing Vibrams, they were the fringe of the fringe. Most odd-balls looked at me like I was crazy. Now, almost 2 years later, the Five Finger shoe line has gained a foothold in the running shoe market. More and more people are willing to try them out. This increased use by an uninformed public has led to some injuries that are being reported by an uninformed press. The Boston Globe, among others, recently published an article about the dangers of wearing the Five Finger shoe. They only get the story half right. Yes, the VFF’s can lead to injury if the wearer doesn’t go about transitioning to them the right way. However, with a little patience, something that is lost in this age of immediate gratification, one can avoid injury all together.

If you are considering a move to Vibram Five Fingers or any other extreme minimalist shoe, I would suggest three things:

  1. Take your time – start slowly and with as few miles as you can possibly take. In fact, if you are using VFF’s for the first time, try a quarter or half mile and call it a day. You can finish your run in your traditional shoes, but don’t be fooled by the initial “it feels so good” feeling. It can only lead to trouble.
  2. Consider a transition shoe. Something that has a bit of a minimalist feel that still has some of the support and cushioning of a traditional shoe. Personally, I highly recommend the Saucony Kinvara. It is low to the ground, relatively flat, light as a feather, but still soft underfoot.
  3. Don’t go exclusively with one shoe. Try rotating your shoes. It doesn’t have to be a 50-50 split. You simply want to make sure that you are not putting the same stresses on the same spots every time you run. This will help you avoid repetitive stress injuries like I suffered right before my first marathon.

If you’re still here, hopefully it means you are still interested in going minimalist. I highly recommend it. It will make you faster and allow you to run longer. Just don’t go making the same mistakes I made.

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Today’s post is part of a Minimalist Running Blog Carnival. You can link to the round-up at http://www.strengthrunning.com/2011/02/minimalist-blog-carnival/ where you will find several links to other bloggers writing about different aspects of minimalist running. I hope you will click over and check them out.

Why do you run?

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Fight

[tweetmeme source=”luau” only_single=false http://www.URL.com]

There are battles we cannot win.  There are fights we know we will lose.  In those situations, should we not engage the enemy?

Well, yeah, we probably shouldn’t.

But there is one all-powerful enemy that I do believe we should engage and battle on a regular basis.  This enemy sometimes steals things from you when you aren’t paying attention.  This enemy sometimes takes things from you forcefully while you ARE paying attention.  This enemy has no corporeal body.  This enemy has no head to cut off, no heart to stab through.  Eventually, this enemy will get you.  It is inevitable.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, this enemy is Time – the stealer of all things.

I have been watching Time – watching it slowly take away my youth and that of my friends, some more quickly than others.  True, I am 41 – I am not a Spring chicken anymore…hell, I’m not even a Summer chicken anymore.  The gray hair has arrived, as have some wrinkles around the eyes.  Both are tough to take for a guy with a mild Peter Pan/Mickey Mouse complex, but I know that the hair and the wrinkles are a natural part of aging.  Recovery isn’t as easy anymore and aches take a little longer to go away.

And yet, I fight.  Taking the battle to Time.

I wake up at 4:00 AM to squeeze in the miles, get the blood flowing, get the endorphins pumping.

I cannot stop Time, but dammit, I’m holding it back as long as I can.

Running is my sword, sweat is my shield and with my weapons of choice I have managed to get myself into the best shape I’ve been in since I was 18, maybe even better.

Eventually time will deal me a fatal blow.  We can’t live forever (not yet anyway), but when it’s finally my time to go, I am going to go knowing that I gave time a run for the money.  I know that I will look and feel younger than most of my contemporaries.  I’ll know that I was able to turn back the clock just a little.  I’ll go knowing I didn’t give up.

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

-Dylan Thomas

I will not go gently into that good night.  I will rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Will you?

 

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Why do you run?

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Last October I ran a marathon with my friend Brendan.  We had the same goal, a BQ.  We both felt good going into the race.  In the end however, he fell off the pace a little bit and missed qualifying for Boston by a mere 33 seconds.  A heart breaker.  That’s enough to crush a guy, especially after putting in hours upon hours of sweat and pain.

In November, another friend of mine, Logan, ran a marathon in Georgia, hoping to make his way to Boston in his first marathon.  Through 13 miles he was on pace to hit 3:12, a BQ with room to spare, but part way through the second half, the wheels came off the bus and he had to settle for a 3:54 marathon debut. Having had the exact same devastating experience, I could relate.

Over the past 3-4 months, I’ve watched both of these guys transform themselves.  They are different, stronger, faster.  I recognize their change because I went through it myself after what I perceived were failures as a runner.  Sure, I may still have a BQ on both of them, but at this point, I think that they may both be better and faster runners than I am.

***

Running is not necessarily about competition.  A lot of people do it simply for the health benefits, both mental and physical.  But when you enter a race, or follow friends who are runners, there is always a part of you that is comparing what you are doing to what they are.  In a race, the comparison is glaring (you are passing or getting passed, leading or following).  On social networks like dailymile, it’s a little more subtle, but it’s still there.

As I’ve watched both Brendan and Logan evolve, I’ve felt the urge to tweak my training, go a little faster, train a little harder.  They are in a different category than I am when it comes to mileage (I’ve been doing 40 – 55 miles per week, they are in the 50 – 70 range).  The temptation to take it to their level is, well, tempting, BUT I know that although we compare ourselves to each other and each other’s accomplishments, ultimately, we are only racing against one person – ourselves.

Even if your name is Ryan Hall or Kara Goucher, you are still competing with the runner that you want to be.

***

And so, somewhat begrudgingly,  I stick with my plan, following the program that is laid before me.  I have a goal for Boston 2011, and that personal goal takes precedent over all other running goals.  If I start chasing the likes of Brendan and Logan, I am likely to crash and burn.

***

The reason I write this post is for those just getting into this marathon thing.  Don’t go comparing yourselves to others.  You are racing against you and what you are capable of.  Hopefully you have a few road races under your belt.  If you do, I would suggest going —>>>HERE<<<— to find out what the numbers say.  It is a pretty accurate measure of where you are and what you are capable of.  From here, come up with a plan (I’m happy to help) and then stick with it.

***

I am looking forward to seeing how Brendan and Logan do in their Marathons this Spring.  I have no doubt that they will not just BQ (like I did, by a mere 1:40), but will smash through to the other side.  I’ll see you guys in Hopkington in 2012!

And at that point, it’s ON!!!

***UPDATE 02/19/11*** Today Logan smashed his previous marathon PR by 45 minutes, completing the Myrtle Beach Marathon in a scorching 3:09:19 (exactly 10 minutes faster than my BQ at Smuttynose).  A well deserved BQ!  I’ll see you in 2012! Congrats Logan!  Brendan, you are on the clock!

***UPDATE 02/20/11***Today Brendan ran the Hampton Half-Marathon in a blazing 1:29:34, nearly 4 minutes faster than my fastest half-mary.  Now true this does not automatically qualify him for Boston, but it does get him into a race that is even harder to qualify for – New York City, Brother!  I also checked the McMillan’ Race Calculator – his half-marathon time puts him at a 3:08:54, 11+ ahead of a BQ.  Way to rock it today Brendan!

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A week ago Sunday I went for my scheduled long run.  According to Mr. Pfitzinger, I was supposed to run 16 miles, 10 of which were supposed to be at marathon pace.

I know.  So what, right?

It was cold and we had just come out the back side of a very large snow storm. The roads were (still are) treacherous, the sidewalks non-existent. I contemplated doing this run on the treadmill, but finally decided to drive to a part of the Boston Marathon course that I knew would be relatively clear. The problem with this stretch of course is that it is only about 6 miles long.

I powered through the first five miles, my mind more or less numbed by the cold.  However, as I approached the end of the stretch, my legs tiring, I realized that I still had over 10 miles to run.  My heart sank, my will ebbed.  Very quickly my mind went from somewhat blank to a swirl of self-doubt.  Suddenly the lack of sleep from the night before felt very real; my legs were tired, my lungs were tired, my brain was tired.  As I rapidly approached the first of the Newton Hills section of the Boston Marathon course, I came very close to stopping.

This section happens to be at Mile 17 of the marathon.  I remembered that just as I was about to drop my pace to a walk up the hill.  I remembered watching dozens of runners slow to a walk last April right at this point and I thought to myself, “If I couldn’t do it after 6 or 7 miles, no matter how tired I am, how the Hell am I going to do it on race day after 17 miles?

I growled and forced myself into a quicker pace.

The legs struggled.

The lungs burned.

I made it to the top of the hill and cracked a small smile.   As I hit the next hill, my GPS chirped that I had run the last mile 12 seconds faster than the previous one.

I smiled.

Energy flowed back into my legs and lungs.  As I crested Heartbreak Hill for the second of what would be three times that day, I realized that my second 6 miles had been faster than my first.

Running, and life for that matter, is full of waves. The key is to ride the crests as long as you can and power through the troughs to get to that next wave.

Physical pain is pretty easy to gauge.  You know if something is physically wrong with your body and it’s time to quit.  It’s the mental part of running that is hard.  Judging what you have left in the tank, mentally, is never an easy task.  But this I know: if you don’t push past what is comfortable, if you don’t embrace the pain, the burn, you won’t grow, you won’t find out whether you can or cannot.

And you won’t make it to the crest of that next wave.

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