Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘children’

Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life, but he who rejects reproof leads others astray.

Proverbs 10:17

Last Friday I wrote about the myth about human trafficking and the Super Bowl.  It was my response after reading this by this “health” blogger.  The blogger and I have had our philosophical differences in the past, but to me, this was pretty cut and dry.  I left a few comments with links to groups that are in the trenches of human trafficking, pointing out that they, these advocacy groups for the victims of human trafficking, were saying that this myth was hurting, not helping, the victims of this horrible crime.

Her response?  Nothing.

I pointed out that some of the very sources she linked to at the bottom of her post had altered their opinions on the matter, so shouldn’t she?

Nothing.

The very people she is claiming to care so much about are asking her to change her stance and her response is…silence.  Now, I don’t doubt that this blogger’s heart is in the right place, but when you let pride overwhelm what is right, what does that say about you and everything else you supposedly stand for?  What does that say about all of the “out of the box” remedies and life style choices (some of which are brilliant) she advocates for?  If she can’t go back and admit she is wrong on something like human trafficking, how can we trust that the health choices she advocates for haven’t been debunked or even classified as unsafe?

Pride…it can make you do stupid things.

***

The other day fitness model and personal trainer Bella Falconi posted this on her Instagram Feed:

1656011_395946507209559_775568335_n

Inspiring, right?  I used to feel the same way until someone pointed out to me years ago that although everyone does in fact have the same 24 hour every day, some must work 2 or 3 jobs, through no fault of their own other than life, just to put a roof over their children’s head and food in their children’s stomachs.  After a 16 hour day, as a parent, would you choose to go work out or spend some quality time with your children?  I said as much in the comments section, noting that perhaps until one is a parent, one cannot understand.  I can’t actually tell you exactly what I said because Bella Falconi’s response was to delete and block.  Now granted, this wasn’t the first time I had called her out on something.  It was the second.  The first was when she used the term “retard” in a derogatory manner.  Then, just like the blogger above, the response was silence.  At 27, this may simply be the immaturity of youth or that she has lived in the bubble of her success for too long.  I don’t know her, so I can’t say.  What I can say is that the response, much like the one above, seems to be rooted in pride.

***

A few month ago, Autism Speaks held a “March on Washington” event.  Leading up to it, Suzanne Wright wrote her now famous op-ed about lost children, broken families and cities build for autistic people.  As Autism Speaks patted itself on the back with a lavish party in DC complete with a Broadway review, thousands of autistic individuals and their families tried to make it clear to Suzanne and Autism Speaks that in order to truly speak for autistic people, the organization needed to let those people actually speak…but more importantly, Autism Speaks needed to listen.

The response?  Nothing.  Autism Speaks continues to believe that autistic individuals should not have a voice in how the world’s largest autism advocacy group operates.  One doesn’t have to have a Ph.D. to see just how wrong this is.

***

This all led me to posting this the other day:

Screen Shot 2014-02-03 at 8.52.04 AM

And maybe that is what it comes down to.  Perhaps Sarah, Bella and Suzanne all feel that admitting that they are wrong on something will be perceived as a sign of weakness.  Perhaps they are afraid that if they admit they are wrong on something that people will call into question everything that has come before.  I believe the exact opposite to be true, because if you are willing to admit that you make mistakes, it shows me that you actually care about what you are putting forth; that at some point, you will go back and double-check and triple-check your work; that if someone says, “hmm. I don’t know about that…”, you’ll go back, see if there are new facts or new science either backing or refuting what you say, and you will act appropriately.

Admitting you are wrong, when you are wrong, is a sign of strength.  As my friend Allissa said, “Knowledge + Humility = Power”.

***

Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life, but he who rejects reproof leads others astray.
Proverbs 10:17
1546202_10152271296573755_25245604_n
Advertisements

Read Full Post »

Women are worthless.

Women are stupid.

Women are only good for cooking, cleaning, and making babies.

Women can’t handle pressure.

Women can’t be independent.

Women can’t be athletic.

Women can’t run marathons.

Women are weak.

Women are useless.

Women are not equal.

***

How do you think my girls would feel about themselves and their future if this is what they constantly heard, directly or not, regarding the adult versions of themselves?  What would their self-esteem be like?  What kind of life would they ultimately lead?

No matter what was said to them directly, if they constantly heard the above statements as background noise, you sure as Hell can bet they  would absorb it.

Children are always listening.

None, I repeat none of those things are true.

***

Men are dogs.

Men are sleazy.

Men are assholes.

Men suck.

Men don’t have feelings.

Men don’t cry.

Men don’t care.

Men are evil.

***

How do you think young boys would feel about themselves and their future if this is what they constantly heard, directly or not, regarding the adult versions of themselves?  What would their self-esteem be like?  What kind of life would they ultimately lead?

No matter what was said to them directly, if they constantly heard the above statements as background noise, you sure as Hell can bet they  would absorb it.

Children are always listening.

None, I repeat none of those things are true.

***

What are you saying about autistic adults in front of your autistic child?

Children are always listening.

listen1

Read Full Post »

[tweetmeme source=”luau” only_single=false http://www.URL.com]

A couple of weeks ago, Dr. David Ludwig of Harvard Univerity suggested that morbidly obese children be removed from their parents custody because allowing these children to reach the sizes that they had was tantamount to child abuse.  I’m going to let that sink in for a minute.  Removal of a child from his or her own home because he or she is obese.

I have to admit, I initially had mixed feelings on this subject.

The undeniable truth is that this country has a weight problem.  When 2/3 of the population is overweight and 1/3 is obese, there is no arguing that.  I know there are “sticks-in-the-mud” out there that insist that nobody can tell them what to do or what to eat, but I can’t help but use an Palin-ism (God help me!) and think out loud, “how’s that working out for ya?”

We are squarely on the path toward a population that will suffer from higher rates of heart disease, diabetes, kidney failure, strokes and other weight related diseases all because we have this attitude of “You Can’t Tell Me What To Do!!!”  And you know what?  I hear that.  No one likes to be talked down to.  It’s not fun.

But reality is reality.  As simplistic and as dumb as that sounds, I think a lot of America misses that.  Want proof? Just go to your local Cineplex this weekend and watch the parade of those in denial walk by.  Stylistic preferences aside, you have to wonder, what kind of warped mirror are they looking at, if they are looking at a mirror at all, when they get dressed to go out.

But in all seriousness, have we reached the point where we have to take these children out of their homes and away from their parents?  and just what will happen to these kids when they are taken out of their homes?  where will they go?  will foster parents or the State do a better job of feeding these kids?  will they get them motivated to be physically active?

On top of that, what about situations where the weight gain isn’t necessarily food and activity related?  1 in 88 American boys has been diagnosed with autism.  Many of those boys will take a variety of drugs to manage anxiety, perseverative behaviors and other symptoms that often come with autism.  Some of these drugs, like risperidone, cause very noticeable weight gain.  Parents of autistic children must go through the heart-wrenching decision of whether the benefits of such drugs (the far out idea of actually being able to connect with your child) outweighs the side effects.  Would the good doctor take these kids away from their homes as well?

A much better and more global solution would be to educate families on what they are actually putting into themselves and into their children.  But that knowledge of what is quality nutrition and what is not only goes so far.  We as a society have to figure out how to overcome the food deserts that are embarrassingly popping up in this country.  How is it that the most powerful nation in the world can’t sustain a big chain grocery store in the proud city of Detroit?  How can parents expect to feed their children nutritious meals if they are forced to shop at the local bodega or 7-Eleven.  Knowing what to eat is pointless if it isn’t available or affordable.

If you want to argue cost, saying that you don’t want your money (tax dollars) paying for educating how others eat and move or incentivising the revitalization of food deserts, consider this: there is a freight train of diabetics and those riddled with heart disease hurtling our way.  When it arrives, there will be a huge cost – who do you think will be paying for the drugs these people need to take?  You will.  Who do you think will pay for the days that these people just can’t get to work?  You will.  Who do you think will pay when these people go on long-term disability when they are no longer able to work?  You will.  One way or another, whether it is through increased health insurance premiums or being asked to work longer and harder at your job, you will pay.  After that, when their hearts and bodies give out under the years of overworking, there will be the cost of losing these people to early deaths.

Is all of that still worth eating whatever you want, whenever you want?

But back to Dr. Ludwig.  To be fair, he was talking about those children who are on the extreme side of obesity – say a 16 year old kid weighing in at 555 lbs.  It is unimaginable to me that I would ever let either one of my daughters reach any where near that weight, BUT I also have relatively easy access to nutritious foods, incredible doctors and space to run and play.  Would I judge a parent in my community if they let their child reach those numbers?  Yeah, probably.  Would I take that child away from his or her home?  I don’t know.  If the parents were good friends, I would hope I would have the courage to advise them to seek help.

But what about communities where nutrition and play space may not be so readily available?  some that are not so far from where I live?  I think that is part of the problem with Dr. Ludwig’s suggestion – it doesn’t take into account the vast societal differences one can encounter simply moving from one neighborhood to another.

What’s the answer then?  I don’t know.  If I did, I’d be running for mayor and implementing a plan.  In the meantime, I can only encourage people to remain active (and to lead by example for the sake of their children) and be aware of what they put in their mouths.

Bookmark and Share

Why do you run?

Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: