So I have come to realize that I suck at housework. Wait, I take that back – I have known all my life that I suck at housework. The problem is that as a Stay At Home Dad, part of my responsibilities are, you guessed it, keeping the house clean. I’m pretty good at the other stuff. I feel like I’m a pretty good dad, I think that the wife is still happy she said, “I do”, and I can hold my own against most people in the kitchen.
What in the world does this have to do with running?
Here’s my problem: I stink at keeping the house clean.
No, that’s not the problem (though the wife might argue otherwise). The problem is that in the last year, if the sun was out and it was a choice between cleaning the house or going out for a run, the run almost inevitably won. I’d tell myself, “Oh, it’s only a quick 5 – 7 miler. I’ll be back in an hour and then I’ll clean.” The truth being I’d also warm up for 5-10 minutes, cool down and stretch for 5-10 minutes and then take a shower for 10-15 minutes. Suddenly that hour run would stretch itself out to an hour and a half – and that would be on days where I decided not to tack on a mile or two for no reason. By the time I dried and dressed, it would be time to pick up the kids.
“Oops! Sorry honey! I’ll get to the cleaning tomorrow.”
The thing is, the cleaning needs to get done. The floors aren’t going to sweep themselves. The dishes and laundry aren’t going to walk themselves over to their respective washers and take their little bubble baths. So something has to change. I’m not about to give up running, but I am reminded of a phrase my dad’s cousin Teddy said to me on my wedding day. He said, “Son, there are two phrases that you will have to learn now that you are married. The first phrase is ‘A happy wife means a happy life.'” Truer words were never spoken. I’ve lived on both sides of that equation. Consequently, the second one was, “let me check with my wife.” Another phrase that I’m always telling my girls is “do the things you have to do so that you can do the things you want to do.” We can sit here and argue the finer points of whether running is a “want to” or a “have to” (and believe me, if you want to keep me in a good mood it’s more of a “have to”), but the truth is, in the bigger picture of my family, we have to have a clean environment not only for my wife but for my two daughters as well. Disorder can play particular havoc on my younger, autistic daughter.
So I’m not about to give up running, but the housework needs to get done. A few days ago I read a post by agirlrunsthruit. It was a tough love post to people who complain about not being able to find time to run or exercise. She essentially called “bullsh*t!” on these folks saying that if you make exercise a priority in your life, you will make time for it. I found myself nodding at the screen in agreement.
So earlier this week, I decided I would try a new routine. I decided to get up early (5AM) and hit the treadmill. Based on the mileage I’ve been able to get in, I may try a little earlier next week, but so far so good. Do I like getting up that early? No Frakking Way! I am a night owl by nature. I have a hard time going to bed before midnight, but I have to set some priorities. I was encouraged yesterday when I read pigtailsflying‘s post on her early morning runs. As the snow starts to get cleared away, I will probably venture out for some pre-dawn runs on the road.
There will still be days where the pull of the sun and the road is just too strong, but for now the plan is to do these early morning runs at least 2 or 3 times a week so I can focus on getting the house right.
Will it last? Who knows, but hopefully it will get to point where I will have done the thing I have to do so I can do the thing I want to do.
Run Luau Run 
Oh. man. I’m not running right now, but I SO feel your pain with the housework. We were having friends over one Saturday evening. J and I scrambled and snapped at each other. Suddenly he was standing there with his mop, wailing “No one should have to work this hard!” I wish I had the flip cam in hand – we’ve laughed about it practically every day since. There’s no way around it – I would rather do ANYTHING than clean… even work!
Good luck with the routine. Your running inspires!
I switched to early morning treadmill runs a couple of months ago and it has worked great! Prior to that, I was hitting the road after work, and totally throwing the dinner/cleanup responsibilities on my other half. In addition, I was missing out on time with the kids before they went to bed. Since switching, I have more time to help out around the house, which makes the lady happy, more time to spend with the kids, which makes them & me happy. Turns out it is a win-win-win situation.
That said, it takes some time to get into the right mindset to drag yourself out of bed (in my case) at 4:50am! But, like all things, after a few weeks, it’s a habit, and good ones are just as hard to break as bad ones.
Yes, you suck at housework.
But you are the best dad I know.
And I’d still say ‘I do’ every day of the week.
😉
dude i have been running every morning for the last 3 weeks and it’s the best way to start the day (well, ok…second best way…). in fact this morning i was about a mile into it and my lungs were heaving and i noticed a few things. 1) this is a MUCH better workout than road cycling (which is kinda hard to top for the aerobic factor). 2) wow this air feels so rich compared to skiing at 12,000 feet. 3) for the first time since i began running this doesn’t feel bad, it actually feels good. like if i don’t get this in the am I don’t quite feel right. point being, morning is the best time to rock the run homes.
I totally agree, get to what you need to do first (like eating your veggies) so you can do what you want to do (like eating dessert).
Thanks for the blog mention! I never really thought of the “I don’t have time to ” in the context of cleaning & other chores. Will definitely try to have a different perspective on the other things that I keep putting off because I “don’t have time”…
I find that people who call people out about not exercising don’t travel 50-75% of the time and work 14-18 hour days 6 days/week. There are other realities in the universe besides 9-5, M-F.
fair enough…but I don’t think she was calling those people out…I’m thinking it was directed more towards the couch potatoes of the universe…but point taken.
i’m terrible at housework.
however, i’ve come up with a perfect solution. i never clean…and just move every two months (often changing identities and states). it’s great. very practical.
blithering: “There are other realities in the universe besides 9-5, M-F.”
true, but there are also realities about the number of obese people in this country. it’s a serious problem. “calling people out”: there’s no reason to suggest this is a bad thing. it’s constructive, it’s obviously needed…if people have time issues, that doesn’t diminish the need for basic nutrition and exercise. i know i need all the calling out i can get.
I can SOOOO relate to this post, because I, too, suck at housework (just ask my spouse and kids). It was manageable when I could afford a housekeeper, but that was then and this is …… a mess.
One really good resource is FLYlady. This site sends out daily emails (if you want them) that give you logical lists of how to tackle you home, by doing it “15 minutes at a time.” Here’s the site: http://flylady.net/
(But of course NOTHING should keep you from running, let the dust bunnies wait!).
Oh, the domesticated life every person should attend to. It also requires practice, actual hands on experience in order for us to find a strategy that will work best for us and for the household.
Here’s to us on making things pristine clean. Believe me, though I’m a lady, I’ve got tons of things to work out on in terms of household chores. Damn. Your wife is lucky having you since you have the urge and the conscience to help her!
The effort! hhaha 😀
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[…] So after two weeks, two things have become clear. I still suck at housework and getting up at 4:45AM still sucks. […]
Completely agree with Silly Blithering. My choice isn’t between house work/ watching Oprah or runnning. It’s called working, traveling for a job and earning money.
Kudos for you for putting up with the role reversal. Not too many men would put up with that.
True! Life gets in the way. I know I wouldn’t be able to run like I do if I was constantly traveling for work.
BUT I think there is a chunk of the population that does choose between Oprah and running. I’m sure that Oprah is a wonderful lady and all, but it’s to THOSE people that I say “make the time”, “figure it out” and “don’t complain about not having the time”.