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I used to work in a sector of the Event Planning business called Destination Management.  I was actually the Chief Operations Officer of what was the premiere company in New York City for that particular niche. Essentially, if you were a company that wanted to send a group of people to New York City for a stretch of time, we took care of those people from the moment they got off of their planes until the moment they got back on.  We took care of transportation, lodging, food, entertainment, tours and most importantly to some of these companies, meetings and conferences.

If a company was sending a group of its people to New York City, they had to throw in a few meetings.

New York City has an incredible number of venues to choose from when picking a place to hold business meetings, presentations or conferences.  As the man in charge of the various programs we put together, I thoroughly enjoyed being able to get into these venues before, during and after each of the events I ran.

Despite the endless options however, there were a select few places that were my “go to” locations.  Places where I felt comfortable enough with the staff to know that even if my event hit a glitch or two, the end result would still be a success and would receive glowing reviews.

These select places became regular locations for me – places where I would run breakfast meetings on a weekly (usually twice a week) basis – to the point where I could simply rely on the routine and know that “today” was going to start off well.  These breakfasts would generally last from about 8AM to 10AM, requiring me to be present from about 7AM to 11AM.

One of these places was Windows On The World.

Windows on the World was a complex of venues at the top floors (106th and 107th) of the North Tower of the World Trade Center in Lower Manhattan.

Just a few months before the attacks of 9/11, Jess and I decided that we wanted to have one of us at home raising our child.  We looked at our respective salaries at the time and decided that it would make more financial sense for me to be the stay at home parent.  The next week I went into my boss’s office and told him that I was “retiring” for a while to raise my child.  Although he was disappointed, he completely understood and accepted my decision.  He understood why we had made our decision and did not try to convince me to stay on.  Tony could be a convincing guy, and I am thankful that he let me go.

***

On the morning of 9/11, little Katie was in her high chair.  We had just started on solid foods (if you can call soupy cereal solid).  We had recently moved out of New York City and into the suburbs.

The phone rang.  It was Jess.

What are you doing? she asked.

Feeding the kiddo.  Mmmm, cerrrrrrealllllll.

You need to turn on the TV.

I strolled the high chair into the den and turned on the television.  There was an image of smoke coming out of one of the Twin Towers.  The voice on the TV was talking about a possible Cessna crashing in the building.  I remember thinking, what an idiot!

And then reality changed.  The second plane hit the other tower and my world, my baby’s world, our world was changed forever.

***

As ten years have passed, certain feelings have become fuzzy.  The abject disbelief and horror of what those 19 evil men did has been numbed somewhat.  My fear of flying has become a little less terrifying.  The wound on my National Pride has healed, if not scarred.

But…

…every time I think of 9/11 and I look at my now two children, I think about the fact that there are so many children , so many sons and daughters, so many parents and siblings that lost someone that day, and had I still been working at the time, there was at least a 40% chance that I would have been up there, at Windows On The World, when flight 11 struck the North Tower.

Fortunately for those in my former company, we did not have a program there that day.  That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have had I still been with the company.  Like I said, Windows was a preferred venue of mine.

***

So as we enter this weekend commemorating the 10 year anniversary of the awful events that happened on 9/11, I ask you to pray for those that lost their lives that day – but I also ask you to say a prayer for the children, the parents, the spouses and the friends of those who lost their lives, and finally for those who were never born…had I been there, Katie would have been an only child, Jess would have been left alone…and Brooke would have never been born.

I am so thankful, so grateful, that whatever God that is up there decided that Brooke needed to be a part of this world.

Thank you Lord for sparing me, but even more so, thank you for sparing my baby…

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Wait…what?

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In anticipation of Vermont, decided to try a little run/walking…5:00 running, 1:00 walking, repeat. Covered 10 miles in 1:27:07. Now I just have to do the 4 more times and that’ll be 50 miles.
-My Facebook Status on Sunday

Shortly after I posted that on Facebook someone pointed out to me that A.) our walk breaks would be longer than 1:00 and B.) the total vertical climb of the Vermont 50 is over 9,000 feet.

Wait…what?

9,000 feet?

Really?

What the Frak, dude!?!

That’s nearly 1.8 miles of vertical climb.  Granted it’s over the course of 50 miles, but seriously…

A little research tells me that Heartbreak Hill rises 88 feet over the course of 0.4 miles.  That roughly translates to 11,000 feet over 50 miles.

So what I’m seeing here is that over the course of the Vermont 50 I will be climbing at an overall rate that puts me in the same ballpark as going up Heartbreak Hill 125 times.

125 TIMES!!!

What the Hell was I thinking?

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Why do you run?

Stop! Reframe. Carry On.

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Hey! What are you doing?!?

Silly, what are you doing?

***

Can you read the difference?

My older daughter, Katie, has been struggling for some time now with many of the quirks that come with Brooke’s autism.

Brooke likes to script things, and though we work very hard to move her away from them, we know that they are a comfort for her when she is either anxious or going through an unstructured period (i.e. school breaks).

Katie will very often play along with the scripts…that is, she will play along until she won’t play along. And when she is done, she is DONE!

And that’s when it happens.

Brooke tries to start a script with Katie, Katie snaps and all Hell breaks loose.

I’ve been trying to arm Katie with a few deflective tools that can help her – one of which is simply changing the tone in her voice while still getting the message across that she doesn’t want to play anymore.

Same message, just slightly reframed.

***

A friend of mine on twitter recently asked if she could “just run away?”

I answered that it depended on whether she was fast enough to outrun whatever it was she wanted to run away from.

***

Some people do run to “get away” from their problems.

I can understand that. I am sure I have been guilty of doing it on several occasions. But I like to think that running as therapy actually takes a different approach.

Much like I am trying to teach Katie that stopping and then reframing can make a huge difference, I believe running can do the same thing.

If there is something troubling you or you have a problem that you just can’t seem to wrap your brain around, there is a good chance that a nice long run can help you find the solution.  Notice that I didn’t say that running is the solution or that running will give you the solution.  Rather, I think that running gives you the uninterrupted time for your brain to roll over a problem in a less stressful environment.

Sure you’re breathing hard.

Sure you’re sweating a ton.

Sure you’re possibly focused solely on how much your quads and calves hurt.

But while all of that is happening, you’re brain is working, and possibly, quite possibly, you come home with a slightly different view of your problem.  It might not even be a different perspective, just simply a change in tone or vocabulary.

Same problem, same solution – simply reframed.

***

Try it.  90 – 120 minutes of heavy sweating – running, biking, swimming…or however you get your sweat on.

And in the end, even if you don’t find the find your way to the solution of your problem, at least you will have got in a great workout!

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Why do you run?

Won’t Get Fooled Again

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October 2009 – Manchester, NH. I am running my first marathon. I have aspirations of qualifying for Boston in my first marathon. How cool would that be? Of course, I’ve only been running for a little over 11 months now. My training has been haphazard, AND I’ve had to lay off the miles in the 6 weeks before the marathon due to a possible stress fracture/probably tendinitis in my right foot. But come on! I’m excited! I’m pumped! I’ve found the 3:30 pacer and I am going to follow him for 15 – 20 miles and then drop the hammer and bring home a sub-3:20:59 and a BQ. Did I mention this is my first marathon?

I flew through the first mile in under 6:30; flew through the first half in just under 1:35 (on pace for 3:10 – Woohoo!); and then I crashed and burned, hitting a wall at 16 and halting to a dead stop at mile 20 with frozen quads. I hobbled the final 10K to still finish in 3:54, but it was not the way anyone would want their first marathon to go.

***

I’ve learned a thing or two in the almost two years since – I even managed to finally qualify for Boston a year later at Smuttynose (my 4th marathon) with a 3:19.

One of the biggest lessons that has stuck with me however, is that if one is running their first marathon and one is not a World Class Athlete like Ryan Hall or Kara Goucher, then one’s goal in a first marathon should be to Just Finish. Sure, it’s good to have time goals. Sure, if you were an All-American in the 10,000 meters in college, maybe a BQ the first time out is not out of the question.

But if you are like me, just a regular guy who happened to fall in love with running because it made you feel good, then embrace that feeling in your first marathon and go out and have fun.

Just finish.

Enjoy the spectacle of the marathon and just finish.

***

Yesterday morning I signed up for the Vermont 50. I’m not sure what I was thinking, but honestly, it’s become something that I just want to be able to say I did – I want to be able to say that not only am I a marathoner, but I am an ultra-marathoner as well.

Can I do it? Can I cover 50 miles before they shut down the course?

That’s kind of the point, isn’t it?

I don’t have aspirations for anything longer (Western States 100? No Frakking Thank You!). Seriously, anything that takes over 12 hours to cover is just insane in my book.

Have I trained for this? Nope.

Have I run trails before? Once – last weekend, and that was only a few miles.

Am I going to get to train for the terrain like I always preach? Hardly. With the end of the summer rapidly approaching, the start of school and some family obligations thrown in for good measure, I will not have an opportunity to head up to the mountains for some training.

What the Hell am I thinking?

At this point, I am thinking this:

Just Finish.

Run, jog, walk, waddle, crawl – whatever it takes.

And here’s the thing – I will not be going out fast. In fact, I guarantee that the first several miles will be uncomfortably slow.

But that’s okay, because the idea for me is to Just Finish and not worry about the racing part of it.

If I finish and I feel “too” good? Who knows, maybe next year I’ll come back and try to “race” it, but in the meantime, I will not make the same mistake in my first ultra-marathon that I made in my first marathon.

When I signed up for the Vermont 50, two words crossed my mind: “Uh Oh!”

I have four new words that I will be focusing on over the next 30 days:

Just Finish. Have Fun.

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Why do you run?

Uh Oh!!!

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What have I done???

And yes, that’s 50, as in 50 mile run.

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Why do you run?

Extraordinary

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When you are the parent of the child with special needs you gain a certain perspective on the concept of achievement.  You learn to celebrate the ordinary, the mundane, the trivial milestones, because when you are a parent of a child with special needs, you know that in some cases, the ordinary becomes extraordinary – the words “I love you” passing over the lips of your daughters, a genuine hug of comfort, an extended moment of eye contact – all of these things that we take for granted with our neuro-typical children take on a much greater weight.

When I look at runners, talk to runners, read posts by runners, I wonder if they understand that they too are extraordinary.

Recently there was a bit of a brouhaha online about a certain runner who attempts to inspire others to live a healthy lifestyle.  Some of the more serious accusations thrown at her aside, one that particularly irked me was that she is just a middle of the pack runner, even slower by other people’s standards – that it was no big deal that she ran 52.4 miles (or 100 for that matter) in one day, that her training mileage was mundane compared to other, “real” ultra-marathoners.

It wasn’t that I felt she needed defending.  She can take care of herself.  What bothered me was that the idea of running 50 miles in a day, or biking 200 miles in 3 days, or running 40 miles a week was nothing to celebrate because it wasn’t serious enough.

It takes away from the “extraordinary” that every day runners do every day.

  • If you get up in the morning and run, you are extraordinary – I don’t care if it’s 3 miles or 15 miles.  How many people hit the snooze button and are now “running” late for work?
  • If you strapped on your running shoes during your lunch break, you are extraordinary – how many of your co-workers are stuffing their faces with a meatball grinder while you sweat out a quick 5-miler?
  • If you put in a short run after work, you are extraordinary – too many people are managing the stress of the day with a bourbon at the local watering hole instead of a run.
  • If you prepared for bed with a run after putting the kids to bed, you are extraordinary – how many of your fellow parents crash into their own beds or onto the couch after the kiddies are asleep?
  • If you have entered a footrace of any distance, you are extraordinary – how many people have said to you, I wish I could do that.
  • If you have run a marathon, no matter what the time, you are extraordinary – you are part of an exclusive club (around 0.1% of the population)!

Runners like Scott Jurek, Ryan Hall and Kara Goucher are all truly extraordinary.  Their feats are incredible, but here’s the thing, they obviously have physical gifts that you and I do not have.  I am truly impressed by what they are able to accomplish, but I am always more impressed with those of you who live every day lives, working towards keeping a roof over your heads and keeping your children fed yet still manage to find the time to run.

I know elitists exist in any group of significant size – those that believe they are innately better because they are faster or stronger.  There are runners that are faster and stronger.  That shouldn’t minimize or trivialize the accomplishments of the rest of the community – just like those of us with special needs should not be marginalized or trivialized in society.

Did you, will you run today?

Yes?

Then YOU are extraordinary.  Don’t let anybody tell you different.

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Why do you run?

Out of the Blue

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Last week I awoke one day to a message on Facebook from my friend Sue.  She had sent me a link to this —>

, saying she thought of me when she first saw it.  Little did I know that Jess had posted that same video on her blog just the day before.  I urge you to watch it, but I warn you, have some tissues ready.  After initially seeing it, and wiping away many tears, I sent a “thank you” to Sue.

The next day I got a note from my friend Logan.  He was speaking on a podcast called Geeks in Running Shoes previewing a presentation he was going to give to a group from Google on the nexus of running and social media.  During the podcast he spoke of reading this blog and how it completely changed the way he sees autism – or more to point, that he now SEES autism and is less inclined to judge a family and their “misbehaving” child.

Later I received a response from Sue.  She told me that she and her family had done the Autism Walk in her hometown due in large part to the regular posts both Jess and I put up on our respective blogs.

Each of those things, the video by Lou, the presentation by Logan and Sue’s initial thought of me and response would have individually made me feel pretty inspired, but it was the rapid fire impact of those three that hit me like a Mack Truck of Good Feelings.

Suddenly my brain was in high gear, jumping from one project to another that has fallen by the wayside over the last year or two – the books I want to write (one about running, the other completely unrelated), the motivational tools I want to produce – I became even more motivated in fund raising for Autism Speaks and the spreading of the message of awareness.

But the biggest impact was on my desire to run.  It is no secret that I have been struggling to find my mojo since May.  My runs have been uninspired at best.  This past weekend I ran on both Saturday and Sunday for the first time in a long while.  I went back to basics on Saturday, pulling out my old Vibram Treks and did a nice little 5-miler into town and back.  My calves were almost immediately in pain when I got home, but I LOVED it!  On Sunday, I put on the more traditional shoes and went out  just to “run for fun”.  Shortly into my run I came across an entrance to a trail, shrugged my shoulders and went for my first trail run.

What fun!  The only downside, if there was one, was that I ended up getting lost, ending up at the same bridge over a sea of 4 foot tall grass three times before I finally figured out how to get out of the woods.  My only real worry was the 93° heat, otherwise, in the wise words of my friend Lisa (@runlikeacoyote – you should follow her if you are on twitter), it really wasn’t getting lost, it was just exploring.

Bottom line is this – I am pumped, full of energy and raring to go (though I did come to the conclusion that I am in no way ready to take the plunge on a 50-mile run through the mountains of Vermont – especially if it’s 93frickin’°!!!). Still, I feel good – terribly sore, but good!  My calves really hate me right now, but it’s good.

I’m looking forward to putting words to paper (already 1200 words in), I’m re-thinking my “why we run” project, I am setting up an appointment with a graphics designer, I’m looking forward to this October’s Autism Walk with Autism Speaks, and I have renewed motivation for spreading awareness.

AND running is fun again.

How incredible is it that one can spend months trying to find their mojo only to have it reappear thanks to three apparently unconnected, yet intricately related people.

Thank you Lou for your vision, thank you Logan for opening yourself up to awareness and passing it on, and thank you Sue for your open heart, your kindness and inspiration.

Finally, for all those who have seen Lou’s video, here’s his thank you to you.

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Why do you run?

A Break

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I have a friend.   I have only met him in the real world once.  He was a large part of why I was able to qualify for Boston back in October of last year – we carried each other for 15 miles.  On that day he missed qualifying for Boston by seconds.  As joyful as my day was, it was devastating to see him just miss his goal.

Instead of folding up his tent and going home, my friend doubled-down and trained even harder for his next marathon, which took place in May in Pittsburgh.  His training was epic to say the least.  To put it in perspective, I just passed 1200 running miles for 2011  last night.  As of 9 days ago, my friend had logged nearly 1800 miles.

1800 miles!!!

He was a man possessed, and when he crossed the finish line in May, he WAS a Boston Qualifier.

I know the feeling – the joy, the wave of emotion, the satisfaction…the “what now?”

Huh?

That’s right.   I recently read in his final post on dailymile that he was “taking a break” from the social network to find his passion for running again.  Boy, do I know that feeling.   I was fortunate enough to have the New York City Marathon line up just 5 weeks after my BQ and then Boston 2011 5 months after that to keep me focused on my training, but after Boston I simply lost “it”.

I was rudderless.  I tried to re-focus my energy by signing up for another marathon, but in the end, I just didn’t have the same drive I had had when I was focused on qualifying for Boston.

Truth be told, I am still wandering, attempting to kick start myself again and again, but I do see signs of my focus coming back.  It’s taken my 4 months, but it’s starting to come together again.

I hope my friend doesn’t stay away too long.

His departure will send ripples throughout the dailymile community and will be felt by all.  He always had an inspirational word for his friends and his workouts were worth emulating.

***

I hope you find your passion again Brendan.  You are an inspiration to many and proof that hard work pays off.  You motivated people not by your words but by your actions.  Enjoy your break – I hope to see you on the ‘mile in October when we both start training again for Boston 2012.

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Why do you run?

Last Chance

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A few years ago I heard of a race called Last Chance for Boston.  It takes place in Dublin, Ohio and used to be billed as a marathoner’s last chance to qualify for Boston.  It seemed like a miserable endeavor to me – 26 laps around a 1 mile loop of an office park, just outside Columbus, Ohio, outside, in the dead of winter.  Yikes.

As any marathoner knows, the landscape has changed.  Registration closed in just hours last year.  The B.A.A. made some adjustments for 2012 that should stretch the process out a week or two, but the likelihood is that registration will be closed within a week.  If you are looking to run Boston 2012, you must have run a qualifying time by September 19th just to have a shot at registering.

If you are like me, barely qualifying by the skin of your teeth, you may be looking for a chance to improve upon your registration slot.

Whichever the case may be, there is a new marathon that is currently being put together that, pending approval, will give you one last shot at either qualifying or improving your registration position.

Details are still few and far between, but the current particulars are this:

Date: September 11th
Format: Time TrialI’ve seen that in bike races, never at a marathon.
Size: The term “Exclusivity” is being used with the idea of a “very small field”
Towns Involved: Concord, Lincoln, Bedford and Lexington (MA)

Again, the race is still pending some approvals, but if that happens this marathon WILL be a certified Boston Qualifier.

So, who’s interested?

*I will update this post as more details come out, but in the meantime, ask around, see what you hear.

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Birthday Wishes

 

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Today is Jess’ “29th” birthday.

I wish I could give her everything that she could possibly want.

She actually put a list together.

Check it out

—>>>HERE<<<—

My hope is that you can help me with the last item on her list – though if you want to give her the first item, I won’t argue or say no.

Happy Birthday Babe!

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Why do you run?