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Archive for November, 2010

[tweetmeme source=”luau” only_single=false http://www.URL.com]

How many of you have been up late at night, flipping through the channels on the tv and come across one of those infomercials for the latest AbGutFatBlasterDoer or the EatAllTheCrapYouWant Diet?

“It’ll change your life!”

“I lost 100 pounds sitting on the couch, eating anything I wanted following Johnny’s three step couch aerobics program!”

“AbGutFatBlasterDoer took me from that to this in less than 3 weeks!”

There is no real product called the AbGutFatBlasterizer…at least not yet. But there are products out there like the Thigh Glider or the Shaker Weight or the Ab Circle.

Oh!

My!

God!!!

Make it stop! Don’t people know that none of the “non-paid participants” are actually “non-paid participants”? I really can’t stand those commercials infomercials –  in large part because most of them are essentially empty promises.   Aside from the PX90 program, most all of these infomercial gadgets are bunk!

***

Well, I think maybe it’s time I entered this business of easy money:

Are you tired of being tired? Are you walking around at the end of the day wondering what can I do to get in shape?

WELL, HAVE I GOT THE PRODUCT FOR YOU!!!

Yes, for only 3 easy payments of $19.95, I will introduce you to the two greatest workout tools around.  They are guaranteed to get you in shape, IF YOU USE THEM!  These two items are SO convenient that you don’t need to store them under your bed, or in your closet or even in you workout room (if you have one).

You can take these two workout tools with you wherever you go and you will never know the difference that you are carrying them.  No extra weight!  No extra space!

Going on a business trip?  No problem!

Going to an out-of-town wedding? No problem!

Taking a family vacation?  No problem!

Yes folks, you can take these two convenient workout tools with you anywhere!  Just send me 3 easy payments of $19.95 and  you will be on your way to a –

THINNER!

LEANER!

FITTER YOU!!!

Just ask this satisfied customer:

I started using these products and in three months I lost nearly 25 lbs!!!

-Luau (satisfied customer since November 2008)

Call/Email/Tweet/Text to order now – Operators are standing by… All major credits cards and paypal accepted.  Sorry, no COD.

***

Oh, you want to know what this product is before you send me your money?  Hmm.  Well, if I tell you, what’s to guarantee that you will still send me your 3 easy payments of $19.95?

Aw, what the heck.  You don’t need to send me anything, because I see you already HAVE the tools with you!

That’s right!  They are your hands and your feet!

With your hands (and the arms that are attached to them) you can do one of the greatest overall exercises out there – the push up!  If you can’t do a single one, don’t fret – my friend Steve can get you on the right path – for free!!!

And with your feet, you can do this amazing old school exercise called running!  Yes, running!  Again, if you don’t think you are ready to run, no need to worry, because there are free – FREE!!! – programs out there to get you started.

***

So, no more excuses.  No more “I don’t know what to do.”  No more “I don’t belong to a gym.”  No more “I don’t have the equipment!”

YOU have the tools, right there, right now.

Now get to work!

***

I’ll settle for one payment of $19.95!  Call now!

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Why do you run?

For Your Entertainment:

Thigh Glider

Shake Weight

Ab Circle Pro

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Today I have my very first guest-blogger.  She is none other than my lovely wife, Jess.  I hesitate to let you read further only because she is a much better writer than I am.

***

[tweetmeme source=”luau” only_single=false http://www.URL.com]

All right, so you can pick your jaws up off the floor now. Seriously, it’s impolite to stare.

I know how implausible it is to find me here. Me – of “I only run when being chased” fame. Me – who once announced to the world that I was going to run a half-marathon, got three weeks into Dante’s third ring of Hell training, decided for the millionth time that I DESPISED running, then spent the next six months trying to hide from anyone that had been within earshot when I’d made the declaration. Me – who would sooner chew glass than run, no less spend my time reading a blog about running (Sorry, honey, you know I love you, right?).

And yet, here I am. And I have a story to tell. And it’s about running. I know, what are the odds?

Here goes.

In another lifetime, when I was thinner and taller er, um, younger and richer oh, Hell, let’s just go with just out of college, I lived in Manhattan. Long before Luau and I met, and a good many years before I would become a running widow, I would periodically head over to the finish line of the New York City Marathon. Friends and I would go to share in the revelry of the day. We’d whoop it up and cheer in the runners as they ran along Central Park South. We made it our personal mission to help push them over the last hump as they neared the finish line in the park.

I loved being there and I always found that the energy and inspiration lingered long after I’d walked away.

One year, after cheering in God knows how many runners, I headed over to the West Side for dinner with a friend. We tucked into a window seat at a favorite restaurant and ordered a bottle of wine. We talked about everything under the sun. We chatted and laughed and watched the people go by. We ordered slowly and ate even more slowly. Why not? We were living in the days of nowhere to be. It was long after nine o’clock when we finally paid the check.

I headed out into the night, amazed at how dark it was. I walked across town, making my through the park and back down to Central Park South. I was changed by what I saw along the way.

A lone runner was making his way along the same path that had been lined with bodies hours earlier. Where there had been rows of fans five and six deep. there was now nothing but a few stray barricades still waiting to be collected. There was no fanfare now – no one screaming or urging him on – no one there waiting to hand him a banana or a mylar blanket. There was no one to put a medal around his neck, offer him a massage or even give him a handshake. There was nothing at all but him and the place where the finish line had been. It was nearly ten o’clock at night.

I stood in the dark watching him with tears streaming down my face.

One at a time, he pulled his forearm crutches around his body. At awkward angles, they kept time with his feet until he finally stopped to raise them above his head.

I felt like a voyeur. I didn’t say a word. I didn’t move. I just stood back in awe of the human will.

Finishing that race was for no one but him.

Running is intensely personal. Whether you’re obsessed with running a qualifying time for a marathon (ahem), looking to beat a personal record (ahem again), or just hoping to make it in before the course closes, unless you’re an elite runner, it’s for no one but you. Running for a cause or running against the clock; running two miles or running twenty six miles, if you’re really going to do it, it’s got to be for YOU.

If you’re running New York this weekend, I wish you luck and I wish you strength.

And while you’re there, if you start to falter, keep your feet moving toward the park. Because there, you might just find the spirit of the man who finished HIS race long after the spectators had gone home.

***

Jess can be found at Diary of a Mom where she writes about our life, our beautiful daughters – nine and-a-half year-old Katie and seven and-a-half year-old, Brooke, and our up and down journey with autism.

She also runs the Diary of a Mom Facebook page, a warm and supportive community of parents, friends, adults on the autism spectrum and some random people in her life who cared enough to hit ‘Like’ and probably now wonder what they got themselves into.

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…it’s our turn…NCYM [New York City Marathon] people…THIS IS OUR TIME!

-runninglam

[tweetmeme source=”luau” only_single=false http://www.URL.com]

For the past 3 1/2 weeks I have patiently been waiting.  I have “watched” as my friends ran the Chicago Marathon (10/10), the Bay State Marathon (10/17) and the Marine Corps Marathon (10/31).  I have enthusiastically cheered them on from afar, but deep down inside I have been green with envy.  True, just 4 1/2 weeks ago I ran the best marathon of my short running career, and for a week I reveled in the joy and euphoria of qualifying for Boston.  But then I got caught up in the tweets and dailymile updates of people running Chicago.  Not only were these friends running the marathon, but they were getting to meet each other and hang out.  They were able to sit and talk about running without feeling like they were boring their audience.

I enviously read about tweet-ups and dailymile meet ups.  I couldn’t believe that a friend of mine was able to meet Bart Yasso!  But she and several others didn’t just meet him, they got to spend an evening having drinks with him, picking his brain.  How cool is that?  The following week was Bay State, with several friends shooting for BQ’s of their own (just in time…phew!), followed two weeks later by the Marine Corps Marathon with many getting together at Jon Stewart’s Rally for Sanity.  I wish I could have been at all of those races!

Well, New York City Marathoners and New York City Runners, it’s our turn now.  I’m looking forward to meeting many of you over the weekend.  I hope some of you will join Miss Joy, TK and me for a leisurely 4 miler on Saturday morning or for brunch afterward.  I am so looking forward to meeting the two of them!  Others I hope to meet at the expo.  I also can’t wait to meet the rest of the Team Up with Autism Speaks Team at Saturday night’s pasta dinner.

Oh, and then there’s the matter of the 26.2 miles on Sunday.  If I don’t meet you beforehand, I hope to see you at the finish line.

It’s our turn now.  Let’s have some fun!

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Why do you run?

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[tweetmeme source=”luau” only_single=false http://www.URL.com]

One year ago yesterday I ran the Manchester City Marathon – my first.  I was convinced that I was going to qualify for Boston in that race.  Looking back, I realize that I really had no idea what I truly was getting into.  My strategy was rudimentary at best.   It didn’t really matter.  I abandoned it within the first few miles.  I flew through the first half in just over 1:35.  I pumped my fist at my family as I flew by them. There are no pictures of that moment because I was 5 – 10 minutes ahead of schedule. I was flying.

Then I had to run the second half. The second half took me just over 2:20, including 20 minutes to get from mile 20 to mile 21.

I came nowhere near qualifying for Boston. As proud as I was for finishing my first marathon, I was devastated.

It was on that day that I finally realized that running a marathon, forget qualifying for Boston, was hard.

***

In 6 days I will be running the ING New York City Marathon. It will be my 5th marathon in 53 weeks. To say that my experience in New York will be different from that in Manchester is a bit of an understatement. Yes, the cities and crowds are different, but I am speaking more directly to the experience of running the 26.2 miles themselves.

In 53 short weeks I have made a tremendous amount of progress. I have gone from a 3:54 marathon where my quads froze up, to a Boston Qualifying time of 3:19, to possibly gunning for a 3:15 this coming Sunday.

A 35 minute improvement.

Progress.

The best part is that I know that my running is a work in progress.  There is still much to be done, many miles to be run, a number of milestones to be reached.

But I don’t say all of this to toot my own horn.  No.  I say this to tell you that anybody, ANYBODY, can get there.  If you train hard, eat right and run smart, progress is inevitable.  The speed and measure of progress is different for each individual.

If you have a running goal, any goal for that matter…believe! Believe!!!

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