[tweetmeme source=”luau” only_single=false http://www.URL.com]
How many of you have been up late at night, flipping through the channels on the tv and come across one of those infomercials for the latest AbGutFatBlasterDoer or the EatAllTheCrapYouWant Diet?
“It’ll change your life!”
“I lost 100 pounds sitting on the couch, eating anything I wanted following Johnny’s three step couch aerobics program!”
“AbGutFatBlasterDoer took me from that to this in less than 3 weeks!”
There is no real product called the AbGutFatBlasterizer…at least not yet. But there are products out there like the Thigh Glider or the Shaker Weight or the Ab Circle.
Oh!
My!
God!!!
Make it stop! Don’t people know that none of the “non-paid participants” are actually “non-paid participants”? I really can’t stand those commercials infomercials – in large part because most of them are essentially empty promises. Aside from the PX90 program, most all of these infomercial gadgets are bunk!
***
Well, I think maybe it’s time I entered this business of easy money:
Are you tired of being tired? Are you walking around at the end of the day wondering what can I do to get in shape?
WELL, HAVE I GOT THE PRODUCT FOR YOU!!!
Yes, for only 3 easy payments of $19.95, I will introduce you to the two greatest workout tools around. They are guaranteed to get you in shape, IF YOU USE THEM! These two items are SO convenient that you don’t need to store them under your bed, or in your closet or even in you workout room (if you have one).
You can take these two workout tools with you wherever you go and you will never know the difference that you are carrying them. No extra weight! No extra space!
Going on a business trip? No problem!
Going to an out-of-town wedding? No problem!
Taking a family vacation? No problem!
Yes folks, you can take these two convenient workout tools with you anywhere! Just send me 3 easy payments of $19.95 and you will be on your way to a –
THINNER!
LEANER!
FITTER YOU!!!
Just ask this satisfied customer:
I started using these products and in three months I lost nearly 25 lbs!!!
-Luau (satisfied customer since November 2008)
Call/Email/Tweet/Text to order now – Operators are standing by… All major credits cards and paypal accepted. Sorry, no COD.
***
Oh, you want to know what this product is before you send me your money? Hmm. Well, if I tell you, what’s to guarantee that you will still send me your 3 easy payments of $19.95?
Aw, what the heck. You don’t need to send me anything, because I see you already HAVE the tools with you!
That’s right! They are your hands and your feet!
With your hands (and the arms that are attached to them) you can do one of the greatest overall exercises out there – the push up! If you can’t do a single one, don’t fret – my friend Steve can get you on the right path – for free!!!
And with your feet, you can do this amazing old school exercise called running! Yes, running! Again, if you don’t think you are ready to run, no need to worry, because there are free – FREE!!! – programs out there to get you started.
***
So, no more excuses. No more “I don’t know what to do.” No more “I don’t belong to a gym.” No more “I don’t have the equipment!”
YOU have the tools, right there, right now.
Now get to work!
***
I’ll settle for one payment of $19.95! Call now!
For Your Entertainment:
Thigh Glider
Shake Weight
Ab Circle Pro
Run Luau Run 
Ha! Nice one 🙂 But I am not sure most people will be buying…running actually requires effort and most people are looking for the easy, quick fix by doing as little as possible. Sad but true.
Let’s see, will you settle for a comment instead of $19.95? Great post and I loved the humorous tone. Having just started dabbling in some cross training directed at strength, I also find it amazing that one of the very best sets of weights out there is – ta da! – our own body! I have been doing some TRX, which yes is a feature of many of those commercials, but even though there’s “equipment” involved, the equipment really just facilitates our using our own bodies and man is it a challenge!
So true and unfortunately your preaching to the choir. When my patients tell me exercise is hard and drinking 80oz. of water is way to much you know, cause they’ll have to pee, I usually respond with CANCER is hard, and that shuts them up. There are no quick fixes and while I wish there were, they aren’t. Now off to the chiropractor I go to realign the back after those dead lifts:)
Fantastic prequel to your race report. Love this one Luau – so true and if anyone wonders if they’re too old or have too many health problems, they can just check out all of the wonderful stories you collected under YES YOU CAN!
Hysterical but oh so true. Hard to believe people still fall for all these crazy gadgets.
Love it!
Mom