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Glio Blast Off 5K

Posted in race recap, tagged Glio Blast Off 5K, race recap, running on September 23, 2010| 15 Comments »

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The training schedule I’ve been following for the Smuttynose Marathon called for an 8-10K race this past Saturday. The idea being that running a race this close to the actual goal race would help me work through any pre-race jitters. The problem was that local race directors didn’t get the memo that I was in a training cycle that called for an 8-10K and all that was available close by were a few 5K’s. I picked what I thought would be one of the flatter ones and away I went.

Now I have this friend, let’s call her Teri*, who I have been trying to get to come to one of these road races with me for over a year. There was always some excuse, but she kept telling me to ask her the next time. She hadn’t run a race in a decade, so when I came across this race, an inaugural one, I thought it was the perfect opportunity for her to re-enter the road race arena. The description of the Glio Blast Off 5K was fast and relatively flat. When I showed her the website, she was hooked. She’s been running around 6 miles lately as her regular runs, so she had no excuses with a 5K.

Still, as I drove by her apartment on Saturday morning to pick her up, I was half expecting her to tell me that something had come up. I was pleasantly surprised to find her waiting for me on the curb.

She was, to say the least, a bit nervous. She had no idea what to expect from herself. I reminded her that for a first race, she should push herself hard, but know that this was simply a bar-setter. Once she got through this one, she would know what she was capable of and be able to go on from there. She thought that she would be happy simply coming in under 30 minutes. I asked how fast she had run her fastest 3 miler – 25 -26 minutes.

I thought about that for a minute and told her that I wouldn’t be surprised if she could hit a 25-handle. She looked at me like I had a screw loose.

We arrived at the race, checked in, got our numbers and began to warm up. As the start time edged closer and closer, I could see Teri getting more and more nervous. I tried distracting her by trying to pick out who we thought the winner would be. An older gentleman, in his 50’s, flew by warming up.

“There goes your winner,” I said. She laughed. It was actually good for me that she was so nervous because it kept my mind off my own thoughts about the race. Though my plan was to try to improve off of last week’s time (20:27), I essentially had no idea what kind of giddy-up I would have, having raced a 5K race and run a VO2Max interval workout in the previous 7 days.

As the starter called the runners to the line, I left Teri in the middle of the pack – just run strong and slightly out of your comfort zone, I told her. I went to the front and instinctively checked out who else was there. There was the older gentleman, a 20-something year old, a larger guy in his 30’s and me. I found out in our short conversation before the start, that all of them had been long timecompetitive runners. The larger guy mentioned that he use to run 5 miles in about 27 minutes in college. Oh, boy! My strategy had been to go out with the leaders and see what happened. After our brief discussion I realized that I would be fighting for 4th place, even with a PR. The gun blared and we were off.

Right out of the gate the big guy pushed the pace, with 20-something right behind him, then me, then the older gentleman. Before the first turn I once again found myself running with the front pack of a race. After an initial flat 200 yards, the course went uphill for the next 300 yards or so. The big guy didn’t flinch and I tried to keep pace. 2 turns later and we started down a mild downhill. The big guy was about 10 yards ahead, 20-something was maybe 2 or 3 yards ahead and I could hear the older gentleman closing in.

Just before hitting the mile 1 marker, the older gentleman flew by me. I check my watch, 6:00. Phew! A little fast!

I watched as our group of 4 began to look more like 4 groups of 1. The big guy continued to pull away, with the other two hanging on. I had two choices at this point. Do I follow, push myself to the limit and possibly injure myself, or do I continue along at what I perceived as max effort? I know that sounds contradictory. Luau, if you’re already pushing at max effort, how can you push any harder? I’ve always felt that what may feel like a maximum effort isn’t always so. That said, despite my training program saying I needed to approach this race as an all out effort, to paraphrase old Obi-wan, this wasn’t the race that I was training for. I would have kicked myself if I had maxed out my legs and ended up pulling something with 2 weeks to go until Smuttynose. Having come to that conclusion, I pushed on at the effort I was putting forth.

As the other three began to pull away, I glanced over my shoulder. Nobody. I once again found myself in the position I did at Lex’s Run. Barring disaster, or a huge rally by the guys behind me, I was sitting in the spot I was going to finish. Mile 2 came and went uneventfully in 6:24. I did some quick math and realized I had 7 1/2 minutes to cover 1.1 miles and get in under 20 minutes (my stated goal). It was going to be close. I felt my legs slowing down and I began thinking of the uphill near the end of the race. I could still see the leaders.

At this point the older gentleman had passed the 20-something. I realized too late that I was closer to them than I had thought. With a little over 1/4 mile to go, I saw that I was only about 200 yard behind he big guy and a little over 100 yards behind 20-something. I had no shot, but I pressed on the gas anyway. As I hit the final hill, I could feel gravity slowing me down. I could only watch helplessly as 20-something crested over the hill and used gravity to his advantage. Once I hit the downhill, I did the same. It was too late to catch 20-something, but I still had a shot at my first sub-20. Two more turns and I saw the clock just under 200 yards away. It was just clicking over to a 19-handle. The finish line looked so far away. Physically I felt like I had left it all on the hill, but I knew, I knew, I had something left in the tank. I forced myself to sprint. I’m not sure how I looked, and I didn’t really care. I was getting that sub-20 dammit! As I closed in on the finish line, I realized that not only was I going to finish in under 20 minutes, but I had a shot at 19:30! I could hear the people gathered cheering me on as I flew through the chute. I pressed my watch and looked – 19:30. Official time: 19:27. I found the other 3 guys, congratulated them and nearly threw up.

After taking a moment, I jogged back to the last turn and cheered runners in, encouraging them to either hold off the person behind them or catch the person in front of them. A few minutes later my friend Teri came around the corner. She was struggling – holding her own, keeping pace, but definitely struggling. As she came around the final turn, I broke into a run with her. Let’s go Teri! There’s the finish line! She wanted to stop. I wasn’t about to let her do that with just 150 yards to go. Come on! Let’s go! Look at the clock! LOOK AT THE CLOCK! The clock read 25:–. She kept moving. I started running backward right in front of her. You’ve got this! You’ve got your 25, but you can hit 25:30 Teri! Let’s go. She would later tell me that at that particular moment, she hated me and wanted to hit me. Intuitively, I stayed just out of reach, mentally trying to pull her along. At about 10 yards to go, I peeled off so she could run through the chute. 25:27. For about a minute or so she was miserable. Then she realized what she had done. You could see the pride and excitement grow in her face. She had achieved her goal and she felt great. She called her trainer to share the news. About 10 minutes later, the timekeepers put out the premiminary results. Teri had finished 30th overall (out of 185 finishers!), 10th among women, and 1st in her age group. 1ST IN HER AGE GROUP?!? She was ecstatic! I have to admit, I was just as happy for her and I was for me when I found out that I too had won my age group, finishing 4th overall.

For an inaugural event, this race was extremely well run. My only two notes of criticism would be that they didn’t have any course maps to check out (something they said would be addressed next year) and the race directors chose very odd age groups (31-40/41-50?). The course was fast and fun but challenging. Hopefully Teri and I can go back next year and defend our age group wins!

Did I learn anything? I was reminded that as a running community, we take pride in the achievements of others. I truly got a huge thrill from Teri’s age group win, knowing that in a small way I had helped push her a little harder than she was going to push herself. Hopefully this is the first of many races for Teri.

*Named changed, though not arbitrarily.

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Sliding Doors

Posted in health, motivation, Physics, tagged Choices, Long Term Health, running, Sliding Doors on September 16, 2010| 16 Comments »

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I never saw the movie Sliding Doors. If I had, maybe I wouldn’t be writing this post. For those that have never heard of it, the plot of the movie centers around the two possible lives a woman may have had depending on whether she made it on to a subway car or not on one fateful night.

How many sliding doors do we make or miss every day in our lives?

According to some physicists, every decision we make is Sliding Doors in the making. Every decision we make creates two or more possible outcomes, with every possible outcome actually occurring in separate universes. Some of those sliding doors lead to minor, almost undetectable changes in our lives; others can have dramatic effects. It’s enough to paralyze one’s decision-making ability, which I’m sure is one of the sliding doors.

It makes you wonder what your life would be like now had you taken a slightly different path early in your life – a poetry course instead of American Lit in school; or a skiing trip instead of the beach or home for Spring Break; the drug store instead of the grocery store to pick up some Advil. Would you still be you?

What does this have to do with running?

Nothing really, except this – many of us go through life not really thinking about the sliding doors we may or may not be going through. We don’t think about what doors may be closing for good on us as we walk past them. I am making an effort to make sure that I do everything I can to maintain my health and my ability to run. I am actively looking for the sliding doors that I think will make me a better, stronger and more enduring runner and in the long run, a healthier old man.

It’s still a guessing game. You never know for sure which sliding doors lead where, but you can make educated, pro-active guesses, and do what you know is right for you. Sitting on the couch with a pint of ice cream after dinner or going for a walk? On any given day, either choice will probably not have long, rippling effects, but making the same bad choices on a daily basis certainly will.

What doors did you walk by today?

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Get Your Jurek On

Posted in other, tagged 10/10/10, Chicago Marathon, Community, running, Scott Jurek on September 10, 2010| 12 Comments »

Be excellent to each other.

-Bill S. Preston, Esq.

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You may or may not have heard of Scott Jurek. He is, in some people’s eyes (including mine), a running god – a world-class ultra-distance runner, who wins. He won the Western States 100 an incredible 7 consecutive times. He plays a big role in the book Born To Run. The guy can run far and he can do it with speed.

But as impressive as it is that he is so accomplished as a runner, it is Scott Jurek, the man, that impresses me the most. After every race, he will go back to the finish line and wait. He will wait for every runner to come in, cheering them on. Despite being a running deity, he is a nice guy. He is one of us. It is this sense of community, this sense that “we are all runners”, that I find most inspiring. And it is this feeling that I try to emulate.

I have found, for the most part, that runners are a friendly and caring lot. We support each other in our lows, and cheer each other in our highs. I think that part of the reason why we are such a supportive group, is that we tend to not take ourselves too seriously. Yes, we can be serious about our running (just ask the wife), but for most of us (myself included), we know we will never be elite runners, we will never make a living off of running, and therefore we are able to approach running with a sense of joy and fun. Whether you are a 2:45 marathoner (in my dreams!) or a 6:00 marathoner, you ARE a marathoner. Either way, you have to train, you have to put in the miles, you have to sweat. Those miles and that sweat bond us together.

So it was with great disappointment the other day that I heard that two runners I consider friends were no longer friends because one thought the other didn’t take her running seriously enough. Not only did the “more serious” person cut off communication with the other, but she retracted an offer to share a room with the other at this year’s Chicago Marathon. I understand wanting to room alone, but it’s a little difficult to scramble for a hotel room this late in the game (the Chicago Marathon is on 10/10/10). I also understand that two different runners may be in different places when it comes to intensity and focus, but I want to believe that as runners, we wouldn’t leave each other high & dry, particularly when it comes to housing before a world-class marathon like Chicago. By now, most of the hotels downtown have filled up and any vacancies are priced exorbitantly high.

The friend who has been left out in the cold has had a rough year. Running is her place to find peace. It’s a shame that something like this has to crash that sanctuary.

Admittedly, I do not know the whole story. Maybe something was said, maybe something was taken out of context, who knows? But as a person who gets totally amped for marathons, is completely “serious” about training for them, and is looking to do the best I can do, I don’t think it should matter how “serious” someone else is about running.

Am I serious about my running? You bet I am. I have trained hard this summer in anticipation of the Smuttynose Marathon on October 3rd, followed by the NYC Marathon on November 7th. I am on a mission! However, I truly believe that running should be about building each other up, not tearing each other down. If I am trying to accomplish my personal goal of a 3:20 marathon, why should it bother me if your personal goal is different?

There will always be someone who is faster than you, just as there will always be someone who is slower – it is a spectrum, if you will – but we are all runners.

We should all seek to channel our inner Jurek, doing what we can to cheer everybody across that finish line, not throwing up last minute road blocks.

Remember, running is fun.

Party on, dudes!

-Ted “Theodore” Logan

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Stretch

Posted in health, training, tagged Knee Pain, running, stretch on August 26, 2010| 3 Comments »

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Those that have been following this blog know that I have been struggling as of late with some “on again, off again” knee pain (located on the inner part of my right knee). A while back I went to a doctor who advised me to take up rowing instead. Yeah, right. How does that help me qualify for Boston? After months of trying to ignore the pain, I finally went to see a PT and was told that I had some chronic hamstring inflammation. He gave me a simple stretch to do three times a day and recommended that I ride a stationary bike on shorter recovery days instead of run.

Lo and behold, the pain went away. After two weeks of this (and probably cycling just a little too hard) however, a new knee pain presented itself on the outside of my knee. I did a little research, found a stretch for ITBS, and within a couple of days everything was back to normal.

After certain types of runs, the knee becomes more aggravated than others. Striders tend to not agree with me, and VO2Max runs can cause a little tenderness, however, these two stretches have changed my running life. No longer am I running in fear of hurting my knee. No longer am I worried that my knee won’t hold up under the pressure of training for Smuttynose. These two simple stretches, have changed the ballgame for me. Just earlier this week, I went out for a 20 miler. I ended up running nearly a minute faster per mile than I had planned (and a mere 26 seconds per mile slower than my planned marathon pace), a sure recipe for knee pain. Guess what? Nothing. No pain. No tenderness. Nothing.

This is what I posted on dailymile just a few days ago explaining the stretches:

So the two stretches are a hamstring stretch and an ITB stretch. The hamstring stretch is done in a chair where your feet can touch the ground. To stretch your right hammy, bend left leg to 90°, foot flat, and extend right leg out, heel on the ground, toes pointed at 45° angle away. Bend at the hips (NOT the waist or back) and hold for 30 – 45 seconds. For the ITB, take the right leg and rest ankle on left knee. Place your left hand under the right ankle, right hand under the right knee. Now lift up and to the left. You should feel a stretch in the ITB up to your butt. Hold for 30 – 45 second. Now you may be asking, what the heck do my hammy and my itb have to do with my knee pain. Well, for me the chronic hamstring inflammation and the mild ITBS were/are causing inflammation at the ends of the tendons which attach themselves, you guessed it, at and below the knee…my pain was in the back left of the right knee and on the right side of my right knee.

So that’s it. Two stretches that have changed my running life, at least for now. Short term, they have been nothing short of a miracle. The verdict is still out on the long term, only because I really only started these stretches a few weeks ago. Still, if the way my knee felt after a pretty fast-paced (for me) 20 miler is any indication, I’m keeping these stretches in the arsenal.

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Honey Water

Posted in diet, Odd Ball, other, training, tagged Honey Water, Hydration, running on August 25, 2010| 7 Comments »

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Lately I’ve been hydrating and recovering with Nuun Water and mix1. Both are great at what they do. I love that the Nuun tablets make them completely portable. I also find that after a tough workout, mix1 definitely feeds me the nutrients I need to be refreshed sooner. Both are great for on-the-go athletes that need to throw something in the bag for a trip to the gym.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depends on how you see it), the other day I was out of both Nuun tablets and mix1. I was setting out for an easy paced 12 miler so I knew I needed something more than just plain water. As I scoured the kitchen, hoping to find a stray tablet, I recalled what I had read in Born To Run about the Tarahumara drinking chia frescas, a combination of chia seeds, lime juice, honey and water. It was said that this simple concoction kept these runners going for hours and hours. Last summer I tried making chia frescas on my own, but had found that the chia seeds tended to clog the spout in my water bottles. Nothing more frustrating that being 30 – 40 minutes into a run, squeezing your water bottle and getting nothing out of it. My solution? I took out the chia seeds and ended up with a citrus honey drink. By the time Fall came around, I had simplified it even further by taking out the lime. This simple honey water solution powered me to my 7 minute half marathon PR in November (1:33:14).

I’m not sure why I eventually moved away from the honey water. Maybe it was because I ran out of honey one day or because my buddy Mike was recommending Nuun. I don’t remember. Regardless, but late winter I had switched to Nuun almost exclusively.

So the other day I was setting out for a 12 miler, and with no Nuun available, I went back to my old reliable. What a pleasant “re-discovery”. A nice side effect of drinking the honey water instead of the Nuun was that I didn’t need to pack any Gu’s either. Taking a few sips of honey water every 10 – 20 minutes provided me the steady stream of simple carbohydrates I needed to maintain a consistent pace. I also found that I was needing fewer gulps per mile . I’m sure I’ll still mix in the Nuun regularly (you really can’t beat the convenience factor), but I have really enjoyed the honey water over the last four or five workouts. This past Sunday I felt refreshed and able to continue after at 15 mile marathon paced run. I’m still tinkering with the ratios, but a 5 – 10% solution seems to be working best for me.

Now if I could only get to hand out honey water at Smuttynose and New York, I’ll be all set!

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Where do you prefer to run?

Posted in other, tagged outside, poll, running, treadmill on August 11, 2010| 5 Comments »

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Anticipation & Trepidation

Posted in health, rest, training, tagged anticipation, Healing, Injury, running, training, trepidation on August 9, 2010| 7 Comments »

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I’ve taken some time off to rest my knee. In fact, when I resume my marathon training schedule on Wednesday with a medium long run (12 miles at a nice and easy pace), it will be my first run in exactly 2 weeks. My original plan was to take 10 days off, but that meant starting yesterday with a 17 miler. Felt a little much, so I decided to give myself one more day before resuming my schedule. Fortunately (or unfortunately as the case may be) the schedule said that today and tomorrow were off days. With 8 weeks to go I have the luck of coming back on a recovery week. Nothing like a well-timed injury.

That said, I’m still a little nervous. The knee feels pretty good, but I know that can change with one misstep, one tweak. Maybe I need to face the fact that I’m not 20 anymore and that I can’t push myself as hard as, well, as hard as I wish I had pushed myself when I was younger.

Isn’t it a shame that youth is wasted on the young?

Had I had the determination I have at 40 at the age of 20, who knows what kind of runner I might have become? World-class? Definitely not. But could I have run a marathon with a 2:–:– handle? Maybe…just maybe.

I am in better shape now than I have ever been in my life, save maybe when I was 16 or 17, when I was practicing kung-fu 2-4 hours a day, 6 days a week. But being in the best shape of my life doesn’t change the fact that I’m 40 years old and I don’t bounce back as quickly as my mind and will would like.

Looking ahead at my schedule (I’m following the Pfitz 12/55 program from Advanced Marathoning), there are some interesting weeks coming up. Some lactate threshold runs, some marathon pace runs and some VO2 Max runs – all sessions that produce a little extra pounding on the knee. Running in VFF’s help reduce that pounding, but the fact that I’m still a heel-striker doesn’t help. I’m actually toying with the idea of buying some shoes that may play to my heel-striking tendency – not to convert back to regular shoes, but just to mix it up. My buddy Pete is pretty convinced that he has remained injury free in part because he mixes up what he puts on his feet from run to run. There’s actually some science to that – maybe a topic for another post.

Where am I going with this? I don’t know. The heart and mind are determined, but the body is not as enthusiastic or resilient. Is that enough? Can it be enough? I’ve only been running for 20 months. Do more experienced runners go through this? Or are they simply physically more gifted? How do they adjust?

The next couple of weeks will be telling. I want to be able to complete the plan, knowing that if I do, and am healthy, I’ve got a pretty good shot at 3:20:59 at Smuttynose. I have two friends, Brendan and the aforementioned Pete, who will be running it as well. Brendan is shooting for 3:20 like me. Pete, if all systems are go, may be shooting for a 3:15. Running with those guys will be a big help to all three of us. Like any daunting task, it’s much easier to tackle 26.2 miles with a group as opposed to alone. The thing is, I can’t push myself to complete the plan and go into the Smuttynose hobbling – defeats the whole purpose of training, doesn’t it? I do think I have to finally face the fact that I’m older now, so maybe it’s a little more important to stretch, do the warm up runs, do the cool down jogs and stretch afterward.

So I take my first steps back on Wednesday with a mix of anticipation and trepidation. I’ll have to resist the urge to go all out, but also have to be careful not to run too conservatively.

When did I get old?

What’s your approach to training when coming back from an injury? And for the older runners like me, has your approach changed with time?

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Be Selfish

Posted in health, motivation, other, rest, tagged autism, mental health, physical health, running, Selfish on August 2, 2010| 8 Comments »

This post was inspired in part by akbutler. (You will run that 5K!)

That’s right.

Be selfish.

I don’t mean cut people off in line or swipe the last food item without asking. I don’t mean hoard all of the ice cream, talk without listening, or think only about yourself.

What I do mean is go out for that long run, go to that gym class, schedule that massage, meet your girlfriend for a manicure and pedicure, book that haircut with your hairdresser, and occasionally, eat your cake too! And don’t feel guilty about it! (Unless you are one of those people who ONLY does those things…then I’m not talking to you.)

I think that people who work very hard taking care of others very often forget to take care of themselves. I see it in the eyes of my wife and others who spend so much time tending to the special needs of their children, siblings or parents.

The focus.

The Go-Go-Go.

The exhaustion!

Even when a particular need is met, there is often still a mountain of needs that are waiting to be taken care of.

No time to rest. Must get to the next task!

But what we all need to remember, that in some cases, being selfish is the most selfless thing you can do. By taking care of yourself, you are better prepared, better able to deal with the challenges that you face. It allows you to be more than just there.

Taking care of yourself could be getting some sleep, getting a run in, or maybe even something simply cosmetic like getting your hair done. It’s important. It’s important because if you don’t do it, you’re gonna crash and be useless. Who can take better care of the ones you love better than you? No one, except a rested you.

There’s a problem of course. There are only 24 hours in a day. Those hours can come and go very quickly.

When, Luau, when am I supposed to be able to do these things for myself? I hear ya. I really do. Let me pose it a little differently with an unrelated short story:

Many years ago, the wife and I were struggling with a recommendation from a doctor regarding little Brooke. I won’t get into specifics, but suffice it to say that it was a very difficult decision that took a lot of soul searching. We kept asking ourselves, what happens if we do this? What are the possible negatives going forward? In the end, and I can’t remember whether it was the wife or I who came up with it, but we flipped it and asked ourselves, “what is the price if we don’t?” Once we approached it from this perspective, our path was clear.

So I ask you this. What is the consequence if you don’t somehow find the time to take care of yourself, both short-term and long-term? And if you ultimately break down, who will be there to take care of those you have been working so hard to take care of?

I am selfish about my running. 4 – 6 hours a week. Those 4 -6 hour are mine and no one else’s. Sometimes it’s 90 minutes at 4:30 in the morning, sometimes it’s 2 hours starting at 11:00 at night. If I’m lucky, I get a lunchtime run in. It keeps me up even when the world conspires to bring me down, but it also contributes to hopefully keeping me around for at least another 50 – 60 years. If I can be relatively sharp-minded and able-bodied until I’m 90, Brooke will have me around until she’s almost 60. Hopefully by then she won’t need me the way she needs me now. That is why I am selfish.

What do you need to be selfish about?

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Ignoring Pain

Posted in motivation, New York City Marathon, other, rest, tagged autism, Autism Speaks, Healing, knee, marathon, pain, running on July 30, 2010| 29 Comments »

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This post is written somewhat stream-of- consciousness style. I have had two streams in my life running parallel to each other the past few weeks. I’m not sure what one has to do with the other, but they somehow feel connected…at least to me.

***

So a few weeks ago I tweaked my right knee again. I’ve been trying to ignore it, thinking that if I run more slowly, if I run more lightly, if I stretch more regularly, the pain will eventually go away. I’ve been following a training schedule for the upcoming October 3rd Smuttynose Marathon, and my rest days have helped, but honestly, after every run lately, I battle with varying levels of soreness.

***

Over the past several weeks, autism has raised its open hand on several occasions and slapped me pretty hard in the face. Every time it did, as much as I tried to put on a brave, happy face, it hurt. A lot.

I have, for the most part, long been the happy-go-lucky member of my family. As a kid growing up, I just kind of rolled with the punches. Now, with a family of my own, I still am the one who stresses the silver lining in any situation. I am the one who emphasizes the positives and ignores the negatives, almost to a fault. It’s not always easy, but I work hard to remain positive in just about any situation.

Even when autism slaps me in the face, I will often turn the other cheek and smile. Even when my Brooke goes to hide in the bathroom for 25 minutes, shredding a plastic bag meant for her wet bathing suit, because both the visual and auditory stimuli from a camp activity is overwhelming, I say, “well, at least she’s using her tools to remove herself from the situation instead of having crying fits like many of her typical peers.”

Even when she goes to a birthday party for one of her classmates and just can’t seem to appropriately break into the social interaction of several of her friends, awkwardly trying to insert herself and ultimately failing, I say, “She’s socially motivated! She’s not shying away!”

See? Silver lining – quite possibly augmented with a dose of mild denial. Though denial may be the wrong word. I am not in denial of the fact that my baby girl has autism. Shoot! I’ll tell anybody who will listen about it. But maybe I’m in denial about some of the aspects of her autism that affect her life.

I have never been one to dwell on the negatives. At least, not on the outside.

But I’m tired. I try not to show it. I try to re-frame it. And very often, I convince myself everything is going to be all right – even when things look bleak. But those slaps get harder and stronger. As she gets older, the gaps become bigger and more noticable. My attempts at smiling have become less genuine. The tears that I shed in private when no one is looking have become more common.

I wonder and worry about the future (both immediate and more frighteningly, distant) of my little Brooke.

***

On Tuesday night I attended the Kick-Off for the Autism Speaks Boston Walk. Don’t worry. I’m not here soliciting donations (that’s the topic of another post). The Kick-Off is meant to pump up the walkers as they get ready to shift their fund-raising into high gear, usually done with inspirational speeches from parents and politicians. I think they did a good job of that, but for me, it was Autism Speaks’ President Mark Roithmayr’s speech that struck a chord with me. He talked of the scientific research Autism Speaks funds and the recent findings that are helping to unlock and solve this puzzle we call the Autism Spectrum. There may never be a “cure” so to speak for autism, but the more scientifically based knowledge we have, the greater we will understand this disorder. The greater our understanding, the better equipped we will be to help our autistic sons, daughters, siblings and friends. It gave me renewed hope.

That hope was buoyed by news of the passage of an Autism Insurance Bill in both the State House and Senate (unanimously I might add) and a video-taped promise by our governor that he would pass the bill if it made it to his desk. Awareness is making a difference!

***

Yesterday I had the great pleasure of meeting a scientist who has been working in the field of autism research for over 35 years. She was delving into solving this puzzle long before most people had even heard of autism. Dr. Helen Tager-Flusberg spoke to a small group of us who have been touched in some way by autism. We had been invited to see firsthand where the dollars go and how they are used. She spoke of her ongoing research, concurrently studying the receptive language of non-verbal children and the infant siblings of children with autism. Her enthusiasm, even after 35 years in the field, is infectious. She is still eager to learn, to discover. I could feel myself get excited for the research she was doing, thinking, “gee, I wish I were 22 years old again so I could apply to graduate school and come work with her!” But the most joyful part of my experience of meeting Dr. Tager-Flusberg and touring her lab, was seeing the fire and energy of those that worked for her. These young women are the future of autism research, they are excited by what they are doing and they quite obviously knew their stuff.

It was somewhat bitter-sweet to see this because much of what they do will more directly help those that come after me and my little Brooke, but there are bound to be some things that come out of their research that will help all people on the spectrum, whether it is directly or indirectly.

I walked out of the meeting with renewed strength. Autism will continue to takes its swipes at me, of that I have no doubt. The private tears will continue to be shed, but my resolve to help has been hardened. I can feel that resolve bleeding into other aspects of my life as well.

***

I have long compared our family’s personal journey with autism as a marathon, not a sprint. This was long before I started running regularly. A year after Brooke started receiving therapies to help her cope and communicate better with the world, I said that we were no longer crawling a marathon, we were walking. We still have a very long way to go, but we are walking. Her progress has been phenomenal, but it has had its up and downs. We will often take 3 steps forward, 4 steps backward and then 2 step forward again. A painful but ultimately positive path.

***

What does this have to do with running? with my preparation for Smuttynose? With my troublesome knee?

2 days ago, I sat looking at my knee. I’m pretty sure it’s not a joint issue per se. I pulled, possibly ripped, something over a year ago in my hamstring. Something actually popped behind my knee. The doctors never found anything, but it’s never been quite the same. 3 marathons, 4 half-marathon and several shorter races later, I am faster and stronger overall, but my knee hurts. 2 days ago, I wondered how I was going to deal with this. 2 days ago, emotionally hammered by the recent trials of autism, I wondered what I was doing. Why was I running? Smuttynose is 10 weeks away. New York, 15.

After the event of the last two days and speaking to Mark and seeing his enthusiasm about my running for Autism Speaks this November, the purpose became clearer. I need to do what’s right to be ready to run in October and November. Maybe these last few days were about not having to be in denial to have hope? Maybe one doesn’t need to be Pollyanna to be positive? I don’t know.

What I can tell you is that after the Kick-Off and after my tour of Dr. Tager-Flusberg’s laboratory, the pain I have been ignoring (both autism and the knee), have my full attention again. The focus is back. I’m going to take a week and really let the knee heal through real rest, massage and stretching. How else this is going to manifest itself over the next 3 months, I am not sure, but I want to thank Mark Roithmayr, Erica Giunta, Kelley Borer, Christine Pecorella, Dr. Tager-Flusberg and the rest of the Autism Speaks team for helping me regain my footing.

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It’s all relative…

Posted in racing, training, Vibram Five Fingers, tagged Bikilas, Fivefingers, running, shoes, Speed, Vibram Bikila, Vibram Treks on July 27, 2010| 11 Comments »

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…when it comes to speed. What is fast for some is slow for others and visa-versa. Still, the one standard you can compare yourself to is, well, yourself. Part of the reason many of us enter footraces is to see just how fast we are. Once we have finished one, we use each subsequent race to measure how our speed has waxed or waned. Much of our change in speed can be attributed to diet, hydration, training, weather and quality of sleep & recovery.

But what about Mars Blackmon’s eternal question, “Is it the shoes?”

Can what you wear on your feet make a significant impact on how you perform on the streets? Nike, along with Blackmon (Spike Lee) and Michael Jordan, tried to sell us on that idea way back in the early 1990’s. “It’s gotta be the shoes” was everywhere.

Runners today have a myriad of shoes to choose from when they enter a running store. Every shoe has it’s selling point, whether it’s support or cushioning, firmness or flexibility. And of course, we all have different feet, so the range of choice is a good thing, right? But what if you are simply looking to increase your speed. You feel you are close to whatever goal it is you have set for yourself, but you have fallen just a little bit short. Is there a shoe for that?

People are constantly asking me, “Can you run fast in those, uh, things?” They point at my Vibram Bikilas or Treks, not sure what to make of them.

Commercial hype and celebrity endorsements aside (Joe Montana – it is so sad to see you pitching those Skechers Shape Ups), let’s do a simple thought experiment. Let’s pit twin brothers against each other in a long distance race. Each has had the exact same training, eaten the exact same foods, and received the exact same amount of sleep. They are wearing the exact same outfits and weigh exactly the same. They also both incorporate the same running style. Which one would you bet on to win this race? You can’t, because any bet you make would be a complete guess.

Now, let’s take one of the twins out of his traditional shoes and put him in a pair that weigh half as much (12oz to 6oz each). This is now the only difference between the twins. One is literally carrying 3/4 of a pound less than the other. Now you may wonder, what difference can 3/4lb make in a footrace? Well, based on certain calculators out there on the internet, for a 175lb man like me, it can mean 9 seconds in a 10K, 22 seconds in a half-marathon and as much as 45 seconds in a full marathon. For a 150lb runner, the time difference is even greater. What’s 9 seconds? Well, it can mean the difference between placing in your age group or not (I’ve missed placing in my age group twice 5 seconds or less). It can also mean the difference between qualifying for Boston or not. I still have over 9 minutes to make up, but if I ran in traditional shoes and clocked a 3:21:40, I’d be pretty ticked off!

So what am I getting at? Vibram Fivefingers are my racing shoe. They literally are half the weight of my old Brooks trainers and I am convinced that they have helped me reached times that I wouldn’t have had otherwise. Between the forcing me to run in a more efficient manner and allowing me to carry less weight, my speed has picked up. At the age 40 and with only a little over a year of consistent running under my belt, I was able to record a sub-40 in just my second 10K. I was not a runner before November 2008. Was it solely because of the shoes? No way! But I don’t doubt that they had a huge part in my race that day (of course, I still missed the podium by a few seconds).

If you are a dyed-in-the-wool heel striker with no desire to change your stride, then the minimalist shoe is probably not for you. But if you are naturally a mid- to fore-foot striker, or are like me, a partially reformed heel-striker, and you are looking for ways to cut down your times, the Vibrams, and more specifically the Bikilas or Treks, may be the shoe for you. I’ve heard people say that as heel-strikers they cannot possibly run in the Vibrams. I would have to disagree. I have always been a heel-striker and although I’ve tried to alter my mechanics, using a cross between chi-running and barefoot techniques, I will still land just ever so slightly on my heel.

Providence Marathon

Boston 13.1

Boston Run To Remember

That said, my heels have been fine. I am a faster, stronger and more efficient runner than I ever was.

Taken to extremes, you may ask, well why not toss out the shoes altogether? Go barefoot! That’s another 45 seconds right there! The problem with that for me is I don’t have natural tread on the bottom of my feet. Both the Treks and the Bikilas have enough tread so you can run hard and still maintain traction with the ground. If I tried that barefoot, I think I’d rip the skin right off the bottoms of my feet.

I’ve put well over 1000 miles in VFF’s over the last 12 month, with close to 400 in either Treks or Bikilas, interspersed with some runs in my traditional Brooks. I know my comfortable pace in my VFF’s is about 20 seconds faster than my Brooks.

Based on my personal experience therefore, I have to agree with Mars. “It’s gotta be the shoes!”