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Discouragement

I recently saw this on Instagram:

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It was followed by a comment by the poster saying: lol January Joiners.

It really chapped my ass.

Listen, I do get the sentiment.  January Joiners make January difficult and frustrating for regular gym goers.  I know all too well the disappointment of getting to the gym to put some miles in on a treadmill because the weather is just awful, only to find every single one is taken.

But here’s the thing, I also find the idea of every treadmill being occupied to be a beautiful, wonderful thing.  It means that there are people, at least momentarily, wanting to make a change for the better.  The sad truth is that the vast majority of them will disappear within two weeks and the vast majority of those who remain will disappear within another two months.

Shouldn’t we be encouraging people instead of discouraging them?  Shouldn’t we be reaching out to those January Joiners, those unfamiliar faces and letting them know that they are doing a good thing, not just for themselves but for their families and friends?  Studies have shown that fitness and obesity can be contagious.  Should we not be encouraging the former?

One more healthy individual, makes society just a little better, just like one drop of rain helps fill a bucket of water.  It may not seem like a lot, but it DOES make a difference.  Imagine how much less money we as a society would have to spend on healthcare if we were able to eliminate 50% of the self-inflicted obesity related illnesses?  It’s billions of dollars back in our pockets to help drive the economy.

We should be embracing and encouraging the January Joiners, not dissing and insulting them.

If you are a regular gym goer, I hope that you will do your part to reach out and encourage those who have resolved to make a change…a simple thumbs up or a “way to go!’ as someone steps off the treadmill.  Give them a sense of pride, a sense of community, and try to remember what it was like the first time you stepped into a gym.

How

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It’s that time of year again – New Year’s Eve.  It’s when everyone is coming down the homestretch of the Holiday Season – a time filled with plenty of food and drink, one last party and, for many, a lot of weight gain.  It’s also a time when people start to make resolution proclamations.

“I’m getting in shape this year!”

“I’m losing weight this year!”

“I’m getting into that size “fill in the blank” this year!”

And the masses then join a gym or buy some running shoes or “go on a diet”, all of which lasts a week, maybe three, and then it’s back to the same old same old.  By the time April or May rolls around, shoulders are shrugged and thoughts turn to “maybe next year.”

So what’s the problem?  And what, more importantly is the solution?  The problem is simpler than you might think.  The problem is not that people lack motivation, it’s that they lack education and guidance.

Saying

“I’m getting in shape this year!”

“I’m losing weight this year!”

or even

 “I’m getting into that size “fill in the blank” this year!”

doesn’t give you a well-defined goal, not even the more specific third one, because all of these goals are unspecific on how you want to get there.

The question anyone who is making a fitness New Year’s Resolution should be asking themselves really is, “what is my goal?  what is it that I truly want to achieve in terms of fitness/weight loss?”

“I want to get in shape” can mean so many things – what kind of shape?  at what cost?  The same can be said about “losing weight”.  There are all kinds of ways to lose weight, some are long-lasting healthful methods, some are…well, not.  Both can get one to a goal of losing weight and/or getting “in shape”; one can get you there rapidly, the other can get you there and keep you there indefinitely.

Once you’ve defined what it is you are actually trying to achieve, the next question becomes are you willing to change.  If you are trying to alter your physical make up for the better, undoubtedly, you will need to change some habits, and change can be hard.

That’s where it all falls apart every year for the majority of people.  An unfortunate result of our on-demand society is that we have become more and more a people who demand results immediately.  We then assume that if we don’t get the results we want immediately, that whatever we are trying must not work or must not work for us.

We start to make excuses –

oh, I’m just not shaped like that. 

oh, I’m big-boned. 

oh, I tried that and it just doesn’t work for me.

oh, it was uncomfortable.

Really?

Well, to be honest, for a small percentage of the population, that is true, HOWEVER, the overwhelming majority of people who use these excuses are simply unwilling to put in the time to change and they think, incorrectly, the excuses will make them feel better.  Now, before you jump on me for calling people lazy, please go back and note I wrote unwilling, not lazy.  Change takes sacrifice and sometimes people are unwilling to make certain sacrifices to achieve change – and that’s okay.  BUT, you have to realize that a choice has been made not to change.  Owning this choice instead of making excuses goes a long way toward inner peace and happiness.  If you can’t commit to change, then enjoy where you are and embrace it.  Mental health and inner peace is just as important as physical health/fitness.

Here’s the bottom line – hard work pays off; consistency pays off; a healthful diet pays off.  You put those three things together and your results are guaranteed.  For some, those results begin to appear on the scale and in the mirror within a week; for others, the visible changes don’t appear for a month or two, but something to realize is that the moment you make a change for the better, good things are happening inside you…immediately.

So is this the year?  Where to start?

The first thing I tell people is to start tracking what they are consuming.
You would be amazed just how much you actually consume throughout the day without thinking about it.  The mere action of tracking, truly committing to tracking you intake, will make you think twice about the variety of snacks that may cross your lips.

There are quite a few food tracking apps, but the two I found easiest to use are:

My Fitness Pal:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/

and Lose It!

http://www.loseit.com/

The thing I like about their apps over others is that they are user-friendly, allow you to enter recipes and create meals, and have access to bar code scanning for easy input.  The apps also allows you to set weight loss goals over a period of time.  The apps though should be used as a guideline, not treated as gospel.  Once a week it’s a good idea to eat whatever the mouth and stomach desire.  One can’t live in a perpetual state of denial (meaning denying yourself “goodies and treats” – a topic for another post) without eventually feeling bitter.  The 90/10 rule works pretty well for most – for every 9 healthful meals, eat & drink something ridiculous!

The second thing I tell people is that they must perform regular physical activity.
This can come in many forms.  I have always found running to be the most affective, particularly for achieving physical fitness while pursuing weight loss, but physical activity can include swimming, biking, taking the stairs instead of taking an elevator, walking, even enjoying the company of your spouse or significant other (I know people get squeamish talking about sex, but it should be noted that a 150 lb person having sex for 15 minutes burns almost 75 calories – that’s nearly 300 calories per hour or the equivalent of a brisk walk or a 10 mph bike ride, but more fun).  The point is, there are many ways to incorporate physical activity into your daily life.

For those short on time, I did a little experiment this Holiday season.  Some of you may have heard of Tabata – it’s a method of exercise where you do a full body exercise for 20 seconds at 100% followed by 10 seconds of rest.  You repeat this cycle 7 more time, completing the exercise in 4 minutes.  It is intense and if you do it right, you pretty much want to throw up at the end of it.  It is effective, but it is not fun.  So doing a little research I came across HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training).  It’s actually been around a while, but I was so into my running I had not really checked it out.  The concept is to perform high intensity full body actions for a short interval, followed by a shorter interval of rest – it is similar to Tabata but not quite as intense.  Right before Thanksgiving, I decided to see if this kind of quick hit training could make a difference.  I chose to use the burpee as my full body movement of choice.  If you don’t know what a burpee is, click —>>>HERE<<<—.

I did five sets of 28 burpees with one minute of rest between sets.  Within each set I would do a 7-7-7-7  routine to mix up different kinds of burpee variations.  For those counting, that’s 140 burpees.  I was able to complete the routine in less than 15 minutes.  I did this 3 times a week and I purposely did not run during that stretch except on Thanksgiving (had to do a Turkey Trot – 3.1 miles) and on my birthday (ran 4.3 miles for 43 years).  That’s a total of 7.4 miles from November 22 to December 31 – essentially a non-factor.  So what were the results?  Despite eating my share of holiday food, less than 45 minutes of work a week allowed me to actually drop 4 pounds and lose a small percentage of body fat.  I am looking forward to seeing what happens when I bring running back into my routine tomorrow.

The third thing I tell people is get some proper sleep.
Sleep is when the body resets itself.  It’s when it heals.  A solid 6 – 9 hours of sleep is absolutely necessary for achieving good health.

Finally, I tell people to stick with it.
It’s hard when you don’t see immediate results.  I get that.  What I try to remind people is that change IS happening.  Slow change is more permanent, because your body and your mind are getting into habits that will stick.  Stay the course, believe in the program and you WILL be rewarded.

So is this your year?  Do you have a specific goal?  If you really want to change, make it a priority and stick with it until the end of March.  This is a trick of sorts though, because if you DO stick with a regular routine until the end of March, you won’t stop because the routine will have taken over.

Good luck with your 2013 health and fitness goals!

TIME says she’s crazy

My daughter has autism.

And according to TIME Magazine, she is crazy.

This is the screen shot of John Ashley Cloud’s article on the DSM-V:

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click on image to link to the article

 

First item up in the article?  The redefining of autism and the possible affects of such redefinition.

***

Do I believe that Time Magazine really thinks that my little Brooke is crazy?  No.  Do I think that the author John Ashley Cloud truly believes my girl is crazy?  I’m pretty sure he doesn’t.  Do I think that he or whoever entitled his piece is a complete and utter asshole?  In the words of Sarah Palin, You Betcha!

The article in and of itself is not a bad one.  It’s fairly matter of fact in its approach.  But that title…that title!

I have nothing against the word “crazy”.  I use it all the time.  Random acts of violence?  That’s crazy!  A buddy of mine running a sub-3:00 marathon his first time out?  That’s crazy!  Preparing for the Mayan apocalypse on December 21st?  That’s crazy!  The Giants beating the Pats in the Superbowl on late 4th quarter drives?  TWICE?  That’s crazy!

Setting back years and years of hard work by those in the mental disability and disorder community with the simple stroke of a keyboard?  THAT is crazy!!!

As a society we have inched ever so slowly toward a more inclusive society.  More and more we are realizing the gift of having all people participate in our communities.  Slowly we have inched toward removing the stigma of either mental illness or disability or disorder.

Cloud’s article does nothing to change that, but the title does that and more.  We live in a headline society.  That is not a gripe, that is a fact.  Just look at this past election cycle.  So many of us get our news and information from either the headlines or from the 50 word bullet points at the beginning of an article.  The only things we WILL read are those articles we find most interesting; ones that reinforce our own ways of thinking.  That’s why a title like Redefining Crazy is awful, disrespectful and downright dangerous.

People will skim over this article and walk away thinking, wow, autistic people ARE crazy…I mean they flap their arms and run around and make strange noises. And they will hold on to that headline because that is what sticks in their head.

Now before you accuse me of joining the ranks of the PC Word Police, I want you to think about what the word “crazy” means to you.  I’m sure there was a time when it was a clinical word.  Is that how the word is used today?  Would you go up to the mother of a child with what was formerly known as Asperger’s and tell her that her son or daughter is crazy?  For those of you who know my Brooke, would you say that she is crazy?

Crazy is defined in the dictionary as:

mentally deranged; demented; insane.

I would not put my Brooke in that category, but thanks to Mr. Cloud, someone who doesn’t know her, but knows her diagnosis, might.

I hope that TIME and Cloud will change the title of his article and issue a general apology.  TIME used to be such a wonderful, even handed magazine, but lately they’ve been acting like a mud-slinging headline grabbing rag.  I called them this morning to cancel my subscription.  I hope you will consider doing the same.

Time Machine

As a runner, I think about time – like, a lot.  How fast was that last mile?  How much time did that race take?  How much time do I have for today’s run?  What were my splits?  What did I average?

Time.  It’s on my mind all the…well…time.

But I’ve been thinking about time in a different way recently – as in, I wish I could go back in time.

We all have things we wished we had done differently when we were younger – the girl who got away; the trip we didn’t take; the job we declined.  I’ve got a bunch of them, but to be honest they are all silly and childlike save one – I wish I had been paying more attention to Brooke when she was a baby.

Now, understand, it’s not like Brooke is in a bad place right now.  Truth is, she’s been doing pretty well – her language gets more and more complex; she’s expressing how she feels; she’s getting more independent.  She even as a pair of sisters fighting over whose friend she is.  Brooke is in a pretty good place right now.  In general, she is happy.

But at the same time, I can’t help but notice the widening gap between her and her peers.  More and more her home-school communication journal mentions fewer and fewer friends she plays with.  As the girls her age have grown, I’ve seen fewer and fewer invitations to play dates – there have even been a few parents that just flat-out ignored any attempts on Brooke’s and my attempt to set something up.  And birthday parties?  Those are becoming rare as well – a natural progression to be sure; when Katie was Brooke’s age, she decided that she wanted to have smaller, more personal parties.  I get it.  But it’s still difficult to see the pictures on Facebook and the mentions of parties, knowing that she was not invited.  It’s not a “wah” moment, just an observation.

What scares me the most is the impending move to Middle School in a year and a half.  Will Brooke move on with her peers? or will she end up at a different Middle School with a special program for kids on the Spectrum?  These girls may not be calling for play dates and birthday invites, but they know her; they get her; they’re cool with her.

Would that I could go back in time to when Brooke was a baby.  Would there be anything I could have done?  Would that I had listened, really listened to Jess when she first felt something might be different.  Would Brooke be in a different place right now?

How could I have not noticed?  If I had, would she be different?  I know it’s not PC to wish the autism away, and you know, it’s not the autism per se that I would wish away – it’s the difficulties that Brooke faces every day that I wish I could change.  Brooke has autism, and no matter what I noticed or did six or seven or eight years ago wouldn’t change that – I just wonder if I had noticed earlier; if I had paid more attention; if I had gotten her the help she needed earlier…would it be different?

I wish I had a time machine so I could find out.

Reaching Across the Aisle

So yesterday we found out the results to the biggest contest of 2012:

#teamLuau had defeated #teamBecca by a resounding 40 Charity Miles

…well, a closer look at the numbers revealed that maybe the victory was not as resounding as one might think – 604 miles to 564 miles – 51.7% to 48.3%

Hmmm…maybe not such a mandate after all.

***

And so, in the spirit of cooperation and bipartisanship, #teamLuau would like to show the winners and losers of that other contest that was held yesterday how it is done.

Instead of gloating about our victory and making gorilla noises at #teamBecca, #teamLuau would like to offer to split the miles Becca has to run in a gorilla suit – we will take on 20 of those miles.  Obviously logistics (how do we transport the gorilla suit? when? where?) have to be worked out, but one way or the other, we will work together and get this thing done, because in the end, it was never about #teamLuau OR #teamBecca.

It was about you.

It was about you and those whom you love; it was about the children and adults who struggle with autism on a daily basis; it was about doing our small part in making the world a better, more hospitable place for anyone who has ever felt different from others.

Hopefully OUR cooperation can show those guys in Washington that together is always stronger than divided.

…and the winner is…

This just in from Charity Miles HQ – The Results Are In:

#TeamLuau vs. #TeamBecca

Election Results Are In!!

Dear Team Charity Miles,

As many of you know, we’ve been in the throes of an intense election. Last month, Autism Speaks’ Becca Barnes challenged Team Up Captain Luau to see who could run the most Charity Miles for Autism Speaks in the month of October.

I added a little twist by allowing anyone to tweet-add their miles to #TeamBecca’s or #TeamLuau’s totals. And Becca added a little flare: The loser has to run the difference wearing a gorilla suit, Autism Speaks jersey and blue afro wig. 

After the first week of campaigning, #TeamBecca had 221 miles– a comfortable 29 mile lead over #TeamLuau.

But, with one week left to go in the challenge, #TeamLuau came roaring back, bringing him up to 446 miles– a 4 mile lead over #TeamBecca.

It was neck & neck into the homestretch… But The People have spoken! #TeamLuau finished with 604 miles, beating #TeamBecca by 40 miles!

Ouch! 40 miles is a long way to run in a gorilla suit! I might have to go down to Florida to help her out. Anyone else with me? After all #ChangingTheWorld is a team sport!

Speaking of elections, we’d like to remind you to get out and vote today. Even better, vote with your feet by walking some Charity Miles to your voting center. Tweet us that you voted and you could win the T-Shirt below. #WalkTheVote!

All the best,
Gene

***

I want to thank #teamLuau for your incredibly hard work and extend my best to #teamBecca for a hard fought, positive campaign. And a special thanks to Gene at Charity Miles for making this all happen!  In the end, everybody wins!!!  I hope that you go out today and vote – whether you are right or left, red or blue, what matters most is making your voice heard!

There was so much more that I didn’t document while I was out there running my unofficial New York City Marathon…hopefully I will get around to it sometime soon, but in the meantime, this was my iPhone’s experience today!

all photos (except for Staten Island shots – which were downloaded), videos, notes and editing done on the iPhone – thank you Steve Jobs.

So after yesterday’s post, which I wrote hours before the Mayor cancelled the marathon, many of you commented both here, on Facebook and on Twitter that I would have a whole year now to get Katy Perry’s attention for a donation of wigs.  I have to be honest with you, because I didn’t want to put anyone in an uncomfortable situation, I didn’t tell you the whole truth yesterday.  My struggle with deferment was much greater than a “should I or shouldn’t I run”.

I went to bed on Thursday night pretty much having decided that in the morning I would write to Lara, our amazing Team Up with Autism Speaks coordinator, and let her know I was deferring until 2013.  What I had seen on TV and heard from friends was simply horrifying and I could not see myself running when so many needed assistance.

I woke up at 5AM and instinctively reached for my phone.  I still had another half hour to sleep, but I notice the email alert said I had several emails that had arrived around 3AM.  This is what one of them (from one of Katy’s assistants) said:

Katy would be happy to make a donation of 25 wigs.

My new friend Andrew (Katy’s friend who I had been working with) sent this email:

Just got this email from one of the peeps at Katy’s management!

Which was followed by an email from Gene over at Charity Miles (he knows Andrew and is in the loop):

HOLY COW! THIS IS AMAZING!

I was ecstatic!  It had worked.

Katy Perry was donating 25 wigs!!!

As Gene said, how amazing was that???

Suddenly, I was back in it.  I was going to run New York!

But then reality started to hit me.  The fact that Katy Perry was generously donating 25 wigs to the cause did not change the fact that people in the City and surrounding areas were suffering.  I went back and forth all day, finally coming to the decision that I did.  Fortunately, the mayor finally called the event, taking a huge weight off of my shoulders.  I didn’t mention the wigs in yesterday’s post because I wanted to make sure that it was okay that I did – after all that they did, Katy and Andrew deserved the option of deciding whether or not to be mentioned.

I want to thank Katy and Andrew publicly.  Although the marathon was cancelled, at the very least, the wigs will be waiting for us for the 2013 New York City Marathon – all of you who volunteered to wear one this year have my gratitude and the right of first refusal for next year.

Thank you Andrew.

Thank you Katy.

To run or not to run…

That is the question I have been grappling with over the last couple of days.

To be honest, even in the midst of Sandy, I was dead set on running New York this year.  So many factors came into play, not least of which was YOUR donations that put me over my fund raising goal in less than 3 weeks forcing me to wear a Katy Perry wig for the marathon.  How could I NOT hold up my end of the deal?  I was running, come Hell or high water…except the high water came…and it devastated parts of Staten Island, Manhattan and New Jersey, along with other parts of the Tri-State area.

Even as of Wednesday, I had no doubt I would be running the New York City Marathon this Sunday, pacing my girl Jersey to a sub-5:00 marathon with my blue wig from iParty; but as I’ve watched the coverage on TV and followed the posts and comments online, my determination has wavered.

The debate is passionate – on both sides.  Run the race. Cancel the race.  Postpone the race.  All valid opinions.  All of them.

My plan was to take the train down this evening, stay at my cousin’s tonight and tomorrow night, run the race on Sunday and then head home.  As of last night, the trains weren’t running, my cousin had no power, and because of the lack of ferry service, the bus traffic was going to be even more congested on race day.

There is no right answer when it comes to holding this marathon, there really isn’t.  Wait…no, let me re-phrase that – there are too many right answers when it comes to holding this year’s marathon.

$350 million could go a long way toward helping speed recovery in those areas of New York and New Jersey most devastated.  In addition, the NYRR is donating $26.20 for every runner that starts the race – that could quite possibly be an additional million dollars to help the City and surrounding area.

But then there’s the massive manpower needed to run an event like this.  The mayor has said that running the race will not take away from disaster relief, but that just sounds like wishful thinking to me.  One man watching over marathoners is one man who is not out there helping those in need, and with another storm approaching, the urgency to get people at least settled reaches a higher pitch.

Several people have approached me about my wearing of the wig – that it may be an added target to those angry spectators that may decide to cross the line.  If I were single and childless, I would laugh such suggestions off, in part because I know that even after 20 miles of running, I can outrun 80% of the population…but I can’t outrun projectiles…and I’m not single or childless.

Just as I gave up ever trying skydiving and bungee jumping the day I became a parent, I can’t put myself recklessly in harm’s way – I’ve been reading the comments online…they ain’t pretty.  In addition, despite the fact that the wig I picked up at iParty is for a charitable cause, I would completely understand if my appearance was taken as a sign disrespect to those affected by the storm.

Too many people are hurting.  I do think that the race should have been postponed or cancelled, but I also feel I owe a debt to all those that donated to the cause – I think that every charity runner is feeling that pressure.

So it is with a heavy heart that I am choosing to defer my entry into the New York City Marathon until 2013.

I wish all those who choose to run the very best; may the day treat you well.  I ask the runners to show residents their deserved respect, being mindful of what those in New York and New Jersey, particularly those on Staten Island, have been through.  I ask that those who disagree with those who choose to run take it out not on the runners but voice their opinions to the NYRR and the mayor.

I’ll be back next year…with my wig.

That’s a promise.

***

I want to thank Lara Collazo for all of the incredible work she is doing for the cause.  She is the organizer of all Team Up events and has been tirelessly working with Team Up runners to make sure they get what they need when they need it.  I also want to apologize to her publicly for choosing to defer so late in the game, especially in the midst of all she is doing. 

AutismCares is actively seeking families affected by autism who are victims of Hurricane Sandy and invites those families to call the Autism Response Team at 1-888-Autism2 (288-4762), En Español at 888-772-9050, or email autismcares@autismspeaks.org to receive assistance. Families may also register directly at www.autismcares.org. Please pass the info on to anyone who might need help.

Another option if you would like to help is http://www.huffingtonpost.com/gene-gurkoff/charity-miles_b_2065234.html .  Long story short, Gene over at Charity Miles will be making a special donation to relief efforts for every person that runs 26.2 charity miles this weekend.  How awesome is he?  Please check it out.

Katy Perry Wig Update

I thought we had a legitimate shot.  I really did.  A comment from a friend of Katy’s – one degree of separation – that was all it was ever really gonna take; someone her knew her.  I am so appreciative of all the tweets to Katy that you all have posted over the last month and a half; I am grateful to all those who signed my petition to her.

In the end, it just didn’t work out.

Last night, around 3AM, I received an email from Katy’s friend saying he just hadn’t heard back.  He suggested going ahead as planned, taking pictures, writing a post – maybe Katy would comment or re-tweet it.  I can’t afford to buy a wig for every runner who volunteered to run NYC in the blue wig and I certainly can’t ask them to buy their own.

I get it.  I do.  With a schedule like hers, she might not have even seen the emails yet.

It’s too bad, really.  The visual impact of 25 – 50 runners, all wearing blue wigs in support of Autism Speaks would have been fantastic.

It just didn’t work out.

And I am bummed.

***

I know it was a silly thing.

In light of the devastation left behind by Sandy, I know this is ridiculous to even be writing about, but I feel it’s only fair to let those who volunteered their time, tweets and money know that I will still be running in a Katy Perry Blue Wig – it will be the cheap model from iParty; it won’t be hers.

***

It was a long shot at best anyway…I just really thought this one was gonna work out.

Thank you again for all you support.  See you in New York!