It’s Time

October 23, 2012 by luau

I love my country. This nation of our, despite our issues, is still the greatest in the world; a beacon of hope; a land of opportunity. Politics have become more partisan in this country, but we still believe in democracy. We disagree, we debate, we sometimes even raise our voices, but in the end, we go to the voting booths to decide our future instead of picking up pistols and rifles.

It’s okay that we disagree with each other when it comes to national security, women’s health issues, economic responsibility, gay and minority rights, defense spending and so on. We are a nation of over 300 million people – we are bound to disagree on a lot of things.

Obviously Ann Coulter and I are on different sides of the aisle. Honestly, I don’t think there is a single thing that I agree with her on and you know what? That’s okay. Wherever one is on the political spectrum, that’s okay because we all have the right to have our voice heard, even someone as extreme as Ann.

***

But my daughter Brooke is not on the Political Spectrum…she’s on the Autism Spectrum. I remember struggling when Jess and I had to fill out forms for the Department of Developmental Services, which at the time was called the Department of Mental Retardation. From the perspective of the State, she falls into that category.

Last night, after the third debate, Ann Coulter tweeted this:

I know that people still use the term “retard” as a slur. I know that there will always be people who don’t see anything wrong with using the word, and honestly, if you are in the privacy of your own home, I refuse to tell you what you can or cannot say…

…but if you are a high profile pundit; someone who somehow still seems to have sway over those in her party, maybe, just maybe it’s time to stop using playground terms from the 1950’s.

Ann, I know that there is a whole segment of the population that you don’t care about and that you think are completely wrong. I get that. I don’t agree with you, but I get that. But when you use words like “retard” you are marginalizing and minimizing a whole segment of the population – a population that includes my little girl.

***

Jess is always saying that we need to just ignore Ann Coulter when she makes these kinds of statements – that this is what she feeds off of; the negative response – almost like some weird demon creature that feeds off of negative human energy. For a very long time I have disagreed with her (Jess) because I feel it’s important to engage those that disagree with your world view. But this is not the first time Ann has used the word “retard” and based on her past behavior I can’t imagine that it will be her last. Maybe, just maybe it’s time to completely ignore her. There was a flood of negative response the last time she tweeted “retard” and it didn’t seem to have any effect on her. I was one of the thousands that tweeted back at her condemning the tweet. Here I am writing a post (believe me, I see the irony), but after this I am done, and I hope you are too.

What’s the most powerful thing you can do to stop someone who obviously craves the spotlight and will do anything to get in it?

Ignore her.

If we don’t respond, then she has nothing to feed on. If we don’t respond, she doesn’t get the satisfaction. No doubt, she will crank it up several notches to get our attention (extinction burst anyone?), but we must hold firm and simply ignore Ann’s desperate cries for attention, because in the end, that will be the only thing she understands.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Ann Coulter, autism spectrum, department of mental retardation, End the word, It's Time, politics, Retard, society | 24 Comments

24 Responses

on October 23, 2012 at 8:35 am | Reply Jess

So I’m pretty sure that there were a whole lot of things that I loved about this post, but I’m not sure because I might possibly have gotten stuck on just this one little point, so if you wouldn’t mind clarifying it for me ..

I believe you said that your wife was right.

Would you care to confirm that for us, your devoted readers?

Thanks,

A totally random reader
- on October 23, 2012 at 8:58 am | Reply luau
  
  Who is this? I have no idea what you are talking about!
on October 23, 2012 at 8:39 am | Reply Collin McMullen

Wow. Good post man.
on October 23, 2012 at 8:48 am | Reply kaitysworld

First…lol…your random reader is too funny. But we all heard you say yore wife was right!
Second…Anne Coulter is a disgusting human being zbd she should be ignored. Our children (my girl is on the Spectrum too) desreve our energies be focused on some worth while. But ooohhh….it is taking a lot not to respond to that tweet.
on October 23, 2012 at 8:50 am | Reply kaitysworld

First…lol…your random reader is too funny. But we all heard you say yore wife was right!
Second…Anne Coulter is a disgusting human being zbd she should be ignored. Our children (my girl is on the Spectrum too) desreve our energies be focused on some worth while. But ooohhh….it is taking a lot not to respond to that tweet.
on October 23, 2012 at 9:01 am | Reply reallynotarunnr

She is a disgusting, twisted, amoral person whom I have been ignoring for a LONG, LONG, time! And you are absolutely right and so is Jess. You are both highly intelligent, wicked funny, amazing people whom I am inspired by regularly!
on October 23, 2012 at 9:22 am | Reply Mom

I find this really hard to ignore. I do correct everyone I hear using that word. I do not tolerate it in my office ever. And did you really say your wife was right?

Love you,
Random Reader’s Mom
on October 23, 2012 at 9:59 am | Reply Mona Wong

GREATEST post dude 🙂 and YES your wife is right!

Most Randomest Reader
on October 23, 2012 at 10:03 am | Reply Alice Fraggle

I agree. I despise Ann, and because of that I ignore her. It’s hard, but you are 100% right – she feeds off of the negative so why give it to her. Wonderful post!
on October 23, 2012 at 10:11 am | Reply Catherine

Twitter has been nothing but hate and disrespect all election season long. Ann Coulter isn’t going to get me pearl clutching any more than the ones who threaten death, violence, and riots. They are all attention hogs, and apparently, it’s working. Im sure there are hundreds if posts and tweets and Facebook statuses about this tweet today. I’ve seen it everywhere. None if it is going to change my life at home today with my two sons who have autism. Your wife is right. Ignore it, it isn’t worth any bit if your soul or your serenity.
on October 23, 2012 at 11:16 am | Reply Kristin

She is a disgusting excuse for a human.
on October 23, 2012 at 11:26 am | Reply Shannon

I am not an American so I confess ignorance to who Ann Coulter is but upon reading her tweet I am happy that I do not know who this ignorant person is. Perhaps as my ten year old would say “She is the ignorant retarded one not my brother (who is on the spectrum, as we suspect she is as well).
The Autism community (parents,kids,families and all the professionals have in my experiance too much class and heart to acknowledge a clearly disturbed indivual such as Ann.
I hope your up coming election goes in the direction that best takes care of your families!
on October 23, 2012 at 12:24 pm | Reply Neil N

Well said. I thought about posting something in opposition to her tweet, but I think it just serves her means. She is an entertainer, she uses shock value to get attention, gain notoriety, and sell more books. She is not the first prominent person to use the “R” word and she won’t be the last. But trying to make an example of her is only giving her exactly what she wants. She is not worthy of the attention.
on October 23, 2012 at 1:07 pm | Reply ouchingtiger

Now, if I share THIS post, does that negate the goal of starving the troll? So hard to talk about ignoring something…
on October 23, 2012 at 1:16 pm | Reply Audra

I’ve come to realize that the internet is filled with so much hate because it is largely anonymous. It emboldens people to day things they would never say to someone in person. Coulter is an exception. She isn’t afraid to be a bully and wears her hate with pride. It’s her schtick and she is not worth responding to, because she will never be convinced that anything she says wrong. Life is too short to pursue lost causes.

Keep fighting the good fight on behalf of your beautiful Brooke…thankfully most of the rest of the world is likely to hear your message with open ears and open hearts.
on October 23, 2012 at 1:36 pm | Reply Ally

It comes right down to this. Ann Coulter is an ignorant bitch, and she could care less if she offends people. So sad to have that vile and hateful and angry of a personality, that you go through life every day arguing and screaming at people, who dont hold your view. The people who matter to you kow who Brooke is, she certainly isnt anything Coulter said, and she has way more class in her wee body than that silly cow ever will have.
on October 23, 2012 at 8:45 pm | Reply Emily

I think we should ignore Ann Coulter as a general rule.
on October 24, 2012 at 1:12 am | Reply Lisa G.

I love this post… My family and I have always viewed the “R word” as an obscenity. It makes me cringe when I hear people use it… I have no problem putting people in their place when they do!
However, YOUR WIFE IS CORRECT… We need to ignore this disgusting, attention seeking woman. If we get caught up in her craziness, we are just giving her what she wants… Maybe our silence will silence her?
on October 25, 2012 at 4:01 am | Reply Westie

There is a line between ignoring the indefensible, and making so much noise that as has happened in my country with Alan Jones, the advertisers withdraw the advertising money, and with a bit of luck, the broadcasters (or publishers, or whomever) pull the person in question off the airwaves, pages, or whatever it is paying their mortgage.
on October 26, 2012 at 4:02 am | Reply Space

Luau:

The only people who use the “r” word as a slur are those who have never had a family member with any disability.

With the passage of time, I have realized how fortunate I am. My mother has two close friends that she lived with after college. One friend’s eldest child (Joe) had Down’s Syndrome and I grew up with Joe as a near-brother. While Joe is technically a year older than me, we shared the same crib and the same playgrounds. Even when it became clear that I was “gifted” and Joe was “retarded” we were not separated. While Joe remained a very kind soul, the pressure of having to potentially take of him drove his eldest sister into substance abuse, making it likely that he will outlive her.

At the same time, I see Joe almost everytime I come home, especially at Christmas. He recognizes me every time he sees me and tells we what has happened in the neighborhood in my absence. At the same time I see in Joe .what could have been, and how lucky I am to be whom I am today.
on October 26, 2012 at 1:59 pm | Reply Mark C.

As a parent of a child with Autism and an educator, that word cuts deeply. I am pleased to say that I rarely hear children use the word, but unfortunately I still hear adults using it quite frequently.
on October 26, 2012 at 9:37 pm | Reply KATHLEEN CONNERTON

Excellent post. We’re all with you on this one!
on October 30, 2012 at 8:04 pm | Reply Michelle

I have a 7 year old son on the spectrum and find myself often wondering where, why, when, how to pursue DMR services. Who could assist me with this??
on March 29, 2013 at 12:47 pm | Reply Some Day… | Run Luau Run

[…] then added a link to my post when Ann Coulter thought it would be funny to use the R-word in her tweets. I then followed that up with Getting off my soapbox now…sorry about […]