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There is a down side to regular running. A dark side that people will try to paint over with white-wash and tell you it’s great. If you are considering the prospect of taking up running, I urge you to think about these things before you start.
•Your clothes will no longer fit you – the added cost of having to buy a new wardrobe, in addition to the new running gear you just bought a few months earlier, can weigh heavily on your wallet.
•Your sex-drive will increase dramatically – I didn’t think that was possible in my case, but it in fact did. The endorphins coursing through your body will keep your blood pumping long after your run is done. It can be rather distracting, you know?
•Your appetite will increase – with the added expenditure of calories will also come the added expenditure of dollars replacing many of those calories. You gotta eat, right?
•Related to your appetite, you will have to overhaul the contents of your cupboard and refrigerator – once you start fine-tuning the machine that is your body, you will become more aware of the fuel you are putting into it. Regular leaded will no longer do. A high performance engine craves the Super Unleaded.
•You will be happier – which sounds great on the surface, but it will annoy your friends to no end. They’ll ask you what are you so damned happy about (even though deep down they will know why).
•You won’t get sick as often – again, sounds great at first, but think about it; if you don’t get sick, you don’t get to call in sick and take a day off from work. That’s less time you get to lie in bed and watch crappy day-time television.
•You’ll make new friend – sounds good, but you know, I have a hard enough time keeping track of my high school and college buddies. Do I really need another whole group of friends to max out my address book?
The bottom line is, be careful what you wish for. This whole running thing may look good from the outside looking in, but once you’re in it, you realize that being in better shape, having a higher sex drive, being able to eat more and better food, being happier, rarely getting sick and making a bunch of new friends ain’t all what it’s cracked up to be!
You’ve been warned!
Run Luau Run 
Nice post. All fine reasons to consider not running. lol
This has to be one of my all time favorite posts Luau – thank you for bringing a chuckle to my heart and a smile to my face. So glad I can be one of those new friends who is helping to max out your address book.
So glad I can be one of those new friends who is helping to max out your address book.
Me too!
Ha!
You made The Grumpy Man laugh on his birthday.
Well, Happy Birthday Grumpy Man!
Another great post! You should write a book man, good stuff from you every day.
Thanks for making the day extra interesting with your great posts.
Thanks Jorge! You are too kind!
Awesome! I was just complaining about these problems yesterday. Although, it fell on deaf ears, because I was “preaching to the choir” so-to-speak at Stu’s 30k! LOL!
Oh this sounds terrible. I’m quitting. Let’s spread the word and get as many runners back on the couch as possible.
totally awesome!
You forgot to add that you’ll be able to keep up with your kids while they run around and their friends will be amazingly surprised at how energetic you are.
See no evil.
Hear no evil.
Speak no evil.
Just run evil…wicked evil!
Thanks for posting. This makes for hellishly, good reading.
I like it – Run Evil!
Ohhhh. I’ll write the 5k to couch diet plan. 😀
Nicely done Luau!
Too bad I am single and #2 is driving me crazy!! LOL!!!
I love this! 😀
Gaby – you’ll just have to find another runner! 😉
“Your sex-drive will increase dramatically – I didn’t think that was possible in my case, but it in fact did. “
I know, RIGHT?
This is amazing. LOVE IT.
Classic Running-Blog satire there Luau.
A cost-benefit analysis of running needs to be done immediately.
Cost: More $’s spent on clothes, food (quantity and quality) as well as missing out on getting paid to be sick.
Benefit: The opportunity to add years to your life, and life to your years.
Speaking of which, check out the Vitality Compass http://apps.bluezones.com/vitality/ and see how many years you’re adding to your life by living healthy.
That is hilarious. I love it!!!!! Sharing.
Sharing.
Thanks Cat!
Love it! My laundry has increased tenfold, my grocery bill insane, I am friends with people who I probably would have never met before and shared more than I could ever imagine … and love it all.
Yeah ummm #2 left me speechless. LOL
Gotta motivate the people however one can! 😉
Well done! I used to coach novices and use many of these points to get them to quit before getting in too deep… 😉
LOL!
Waiting for the results of a knew MRI so running is not on my future. Wish I hadn’t stopped years ago, though.
Gail – I hope you get some positive news and are back on your running feet again!
Thanks. I haven’t run in years but was considering taking it up again…. doesn’t look like that is going to happen. Oh, well.