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Since 1992 I have been waiting.
Waiting for what you say?
I can’t specifically say. To be discovered? To be handed fame and fortune? To win the lottery? I have been waiting. As a youngster, I always felt I was destined for something big, but I never did anything about it. In 1992 I said to some friends I wanted to go to New York, become a soap opera regular and become a star. My friends were all for it. I did eventually go to New York, but not until 1996, and only for a job as a paralegal at a midtown law firm. I did finally make it on to a soap opera, but only as an extra and only because a dear friend of my sister-in-law happened to be the head writer and was kind enough to get me on (Thank you Lil’ Jess and Tom!).
Yup, that's me in the background...
Still, I waited. Waited for greatness, for fame, for fortune.
***
It’s not coming, is it? There is no Justin Bieber fairytale waiting for me, is there? (part of that may be because I don’t sing…details.) Random House is not going to stumble upon my blog and decide they MUST have a book written by Luau. Foxnews is not going to decide that they MUST talk to me about the minimalist movement and make me a media darling. Oprah is not about to come calling, asking me to talk about how we can get America healthy again…is she?
No.
The lottery, both figuratively and literally, is not about to call out my numbers. My blog may be just under a year old, but at nearly 41, I’m no longer that fresh face with potential.
And yet I have waited.
***
For the last 11+ weeks I have been following a training program aimed at helping me run a 3:20 or better at the Smuttynose Marathon on October 3rd. I have not followed the program to a tee, but I have worked very hard and made re-adjustments along the way to keep me on track, both in mileage and types of workouts. Injuries and travel have required me to make some changes, but my numbers are lining up correctly and I am feeling very confident. If I don’t manage to qualify for Boston, it’s going to be very, very close.
If I do run a 3:20 or better I will have to face an ugly, brutal truth: – to achie—
-<<record stratch>> – Wait…what? Luau, um, did you just said that if you ACHIEVE your goal, you’re going to have to face an ugly truth?
Yup. That’s what I said. The ugly truth is this: to achieve your goals, most of us must work for it. If I run a BQ (Boston Qualifier), it will have been achieved through sweat and pain, hard work and determination and even a little bit of blood. There has been no “waiting” this time around for a BQ.
As much as I like to pull the “back when I was your age” card on my children and younger friends, the truth is, my generation really was the beginning of the immediate gratification/MTV society (I can’t say generation anymore because we have had children that also carry this need for immediate gratification…Video on Demand? DVR’s? 24 Hour News?).
My father didn’t raise me this way, but somewhere along the way, I lost the thread. I left the path and I got lost. Things came too easily too early for me and I got comfortable. Well, these 11 weeks have brought me a new perspective. Barring a twisted ankle on the course, I will run close to, if not achieve a BQ. Regardless, I know I will run a personal best (Providence is my current PR at 3:30:11), and it will all be because of hard work. I feel like I’ve cut away the fat, more mentally than physically. I am ready.
So Random House, Foxnews and Oprah, watch out. After I hit this BQ, I’m coming.
Run Luau Run 
Great post.
GO-o-o, Luau!!!
Rock that course!
Best of luck on Sunday Matt, you have worked hard to get where you are, and I am confident that both you and Brendan will deliver outstanding race performances on Sunday. If you believe in your training, that is a big step on the path to a successful marathon – now just have the confidence to go out at the right pace and know you are strong enough to finish well.
Brian G on Dailymile posted a good comment on one of my runs a few weeks before my recent marathon – it is a quote from Muhammed Ali: “The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses – behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights”. Your post reminded me of this quote. You have already won your fight, you just have to show up.
Greg – that is a great quote! I may have to incorporate that into my every day life.
I love this post – you have done everything possible to get yourself ready for this. You have DONE the work.
Greatness is coming your way….
Well said, Mr. Soap Star! Good luck at Smuttynose. I can’t speak to Oprah, but we here in Blogland are all cheering for ya!
It means a lot! Thanks Paula!
Sunday is your victory lap Matt. What a powerful blog post — I wish every 20 and 30 something who are experiencing that sense of entitlement could read this. I’m going to share this with Caroline Dowd Higgins on her FB page — she had written a Huffington Post post about entitlement and she will appreciate it. I am in a chapter in her book about Not The Career I Ordered. You are awesomeness.
Thanks for passing it along Mary!
Love this post Matt. You have done all the hard work already. I know that you’ll achieve your goal, and I for one, cannot wait to raise a celebratory pint with you in honor of your BQ this weekend!
Run Luau Run!
oh dearheart, where to begin…with humor and point out that you were famous, or was that infamous, during your college years(think, you know what I am referring to)….or go to the heartfelt, thank-you for allowing us to see your imperfections, past desires and current ones. mad respect for you right now and I will be saying prayers that you get your BQ, why, cause you deserve it in ways that don’t have anything to do with your training…..RUN LUAU RUN….like your hair is on fire!
Thanks Sheila! I will definitely be thinking of my hair on fire for the last 5K of the marathon!
Great post Matt and so very true. It takes work to achieve any goal worth having. Good luck with your BQ, you have worked hard for it.
Matt – we have worked hard through the heat of summer and faced our share of adversity and uncertainty. It will be an honor to run with you again on Sunday, and hopefully watch you and Brendan celebrate much deserved BQ’s! Can’t wait for Smuttynose!
It’s gonna be fun my friend!
ROCK ON, Luau! You’ve worked hard, trained right, and you’ve taken every measure to bring this goal entirely within your power to realize.
And great post all around 🙂
Thanks Ingrid!