My daughter does not have a disease like cancer…despite what PETA or Autism Speaks might imply.
My daughter is not God’s vengeance…despite what Toni Braxton may have once thought.
My daughter is no more a potential killer than any of you…despite what the Washington Post might say.
My daughter, Brooke, has autism.
She IS autistic.
Is being autistic all sunshine and rainbows and unicorns?
Um, no.
Are there days that Brooke struggles mightily, in part because she is autistic?
Sure, no doubt.
Are there days when Brooke excels, in part because she is autistic?
Absolutely.
***
Words matter.
Stigma matters.
Demonization matters.
The way Ms. Braxton or PETA or the Washington Post or Autism Speaks talk about autism undoubtedly has led to unnecessary tragedy. I am not trying to convince a struggling parent that their autistic child is a gift from god, unless you believe that ALL children are a gift from god. I am not painting a picture that is all rosy and “happily ever after” when an individual or family receives an autism diagnosis. I am not trying to hold a scared parent’s hand and say, “everything will work out fine”.
BUT…
But individuals, parents, families and friends need to understand that autism and being autistic is NOT a death sentence like cancer can be…
Individuals, parents, families and friends need to understand that autism and being autistic is NOT a punishment of the parent for some imagined slight against his or her god…
Individuals, parents, families and friends need to understand that autism and being autistic is NOT an indicator of murderous tendencies any more than being any other member of the human race is…
***
My daughter is autistic.
She struggles a little more than others.
She also giggles and smiles a little more than others too.
She sees the world a little differently than you or me.
Sometimes that hinders…sometimes that helps.
As her parents, Jess and I do what we can to make the world a friendlier, easier place for her to exist in, while providing her with skills that will allow her to navigate it.
***
For the love of whatever deity you pray to, please stop seeing her as a diseased punishment, hell bent on hurting people.
My daughter is autistic.
She is different.
And that is okay.
Reblogged this on My Puzzling Piece: A Glance Into A Puzzling Existance and commented:
Clarification on what our children with autism are, and are not. Despite what the media, or certain organizations, seem to say.
OOPS. Sorry. I forgot to ask if I could reblog this post. I just loved it so much I totally forgot. TOTALLY FORGOT! Is it okay that I reblogged it? If not I will gladly (quickly) pull it down, I just LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this post.
Did you catch that I love this post? I could hug you right NOW. 🙂
Thank you for writing this. Let me know if it is okay that I reblogged this… 🙂
Absolutely, totally okay!!! Thank you!
Thank you so much for writing this. Can I please put this on every bill board in our country???? Seriously! 🙂
Take care!!!
Right on, Matt! Thank you for sharing this important message.
Love you,
Mom (and a very proud Grammy)
I love your name. It strictly reminds me of Hawaii and how badly I want to go there for the first time. 🙂 Your wife is great, I enjoy her posts, too. 🙂
Holy cow your husband read my mind! I believe that every child and every life is a precious gift from God that has value and deserves to feel safe, accepted, and valid.
Thank you thank you thank you!!
I loved this, too!
Thank you Luau! Awesome!!!
Toni Braxton never suggested autism is vengeance from god. She, like you, thinks things and said it, also saying she has realized that autism is just autism. Read the book, not just the sound bytes. I am surprised at you, as a reader of Jess’s blog and huge fan, that you would say that about a person.
I think the issue here is not what she thought, not what she thinks now, it’s the fact that she said it out loud, in writing, in interviews for her son to know that at one time she believed either he or his autism was her punishment. Some thoughts should be kept to ones self, when they can hurt your child.
I am surprised at your Toni Braxton comment, luau. As a fan of Jess’s blog, I know that you know we all have irrational thoughts about all kinds of things. Toni goes on to explain that she doesn’t really believe autism is an act of vengeance from god, but the media took a sentence out of context and ran with it. Read the book before you pretend to understand it.
Again, I don’t think that is the point here. Taken out of context of not “Autism” – “Child” – “Punishment” – should not have been said out loud for her son to know. Yes, we do all have irrational thoughts at times, but we don’t (I would hope) say them out loud in interviews or write about them in books for our children to hear. You can’t take that back.
Awesome. 🙂 Completely and totally agreed. Wish our dad had realized what you have, because I swear this post is the standard I wish all parents would follow. 🙂 🙂 🙂
I love what you have writeen and I will follow your blog. I am so very pleased to see such a loving, supportive and realistic parent ❤ Your post is so touching. We love our kids no matter what. Although their autism is a part of who they are, it is definitely not ALL of who they are. Wonderful post.
Fantastic. BEAUTIFULLY written. Love love love.
[…] This article was originally published at Run Luau Run. […]
Wow! I love sharing a glimpse into your creative perspective!