It’s been a rough, tough couple of weeks here. For those that don’t follow me or Jess on Facebook or Twitter, we received news earlier this week that Brooke has in fact been suffering from brain seizures. Jess and I were, despite preparing ourselves for the possibility, completely rocked. The news from the neurologist was followed up just hours later with more difficult news from Brooke’s neuropsych (or as Jess calls him – Dr. Dreamy). Her verbal IQ had taken a frightening tumble over the last year, dropping her into the bottom one percentile of her peers.
Yeah…Jess and I walked out of there a complete mess.
That was Wednesday night. Thursday went by in a complete blur. Jess stayed home to prepare for Brooke’s team meeting at school, while I drove her around to attend to those preparations. I just wanted to get to the end of the day and go to sleep.
Sleep didn’t help.
I woke up this morning just as distraught, just as angry, just as stressed. So many of you have sent words of love and support and offers of connections to doctors. Up until today, that had been my lifeline – I can’t thank you enough. I know there are people out there who say that social media has made the world a colder, less inter-personal place, but after what you did for me and Jess Wednesday night and yesterday, I could not disagree more. Like I said, you have been my lifeline.
But then something else happened today. Instead of running angry as I have for the last several days, I decided to run comfortably; to purposely run at a slower, steadier pace. I kept my pulse in the high 120′s and just glided for 5 miles before turning up the pace a little. It was meditative, contemplative, reflective.
At the end of the run I took my usual “#AutismStreaeks Day Fill-In-Blank” photo. The sun was behind me, which I hadn’t realized, and created a burst across my face in the photo and it struck me – even the darkest of nights must eventually give way to the sunlight.
Brooke will get through this, as will Jess, Katie and I.
Thank you for being our sunlight.